Today we have Christopher. He is 27 years old from Melbourne, Australia and he took his last drink on July 13th, 2019. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month On October 4th-15th, we are going to Peru! There are still three spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Included in this journey are hiking the Inca Trail and a service project with Peruvian Hearts. [02:38] Thoughts from Paul: Today Paul presents the third of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the spiritual (not necessarily religious) component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol. Spiritual growth isn’t necessarily linear and likely won’t start in the first week. There may have been a moment before your last drink when time seemed to stop, and you were pulled into the present moment where you could see where things were headed if you didn’t quit drinking. For some this growth may involve religious exploration and for others it may just be feeling the pull to be in nature or seeing life synchronicities and being able to decipher signals of intuition in your body. Creativity may return and books like Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way can help unblock creative channels. Paul shares many different ways spiritual healing can show up for people on the journey to being alcohol-free. [09:28] Paul introduces Christopher: Chris is 27 and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He is about to start being a psychologist in a few weeks where he looks forward to being of service, but currently is working in the restaurant area of a pub. For fun he enjoys the outdoors, running, hiking and is a fan of philosophy. Chris’ drinking began like many others when he was in his teens. He says he instantly felt free, and his problems slipped away. He drank when the opportunities arose, and it was mainly binge drinking on the weekends. Chris said he cared a lot of what others thought of him or if they found him interesting, so he began to believe that he had to drink in order to please them. This led to an escalation in his drinking and not long after he began to question his it but didn’t feel like it was an addiction. He kept himself busy to avoid dealing with those thoughts. When Chris was 19 or 20, he was going into another semester at school and was exhausted. He decided to take this time to quit alcohol and drugs. He found himself thinking about alcohol a lot during this time and began to explore what this meant to him. Chris didn’t want to share with anyone what he was doing so kept it to himself. After the three-month break, Chris went back to drinking and it wasn’t the same. He realized that alcohol had been ruined for him. He was drinking just because he was terrified of the alternative but eventually decided to quit and this time shared his intention with others. In spite of having multiple years away from alcohol, Chris didn’t feel completely sober. He recently began to prioritize his sobriety and utilize more resources in his recovery. He was listening to the RE podcast but also became more active in Café RE and started going to AA meetings and getting a sponsor. Realizing that he couldn’t do it alone was a big revelation for Chris. He says that prioritizing his sobriety is the most important component to having control over the rest of his life. Christopher’s parting piece of guidance: “do what’s right for you. Your truth is your truth and there is going to be a lot of outside noise, but you probably know what is going on deep down better than you realize.” Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys. RE on Instagram Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes
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46:29
RE 532: Mental Healing Year One AF
Today we have Adam. He is 34 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on May 19th, 2022. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people [02:41] Thoughts from Paul: Today Paul presents the second of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the mental component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol. In the beginning, don’t expect much but the brain fog will begin to lift by the end of the first week. Emotions will start to show up and you should embrace them. Seeing mood swings is completely normal but they will begin to improve over the next few months Over the first year there are a lot of improvements to our awareness, our emotional regulation and our dopamine system. Paul shares many more examples, but this is a short version of a longer list, and the mental healing goes on for years. Perhaps the biggest shift mentally is how you now feel about yourself now that you’ve made such a positive change by ditching the booze. [11:45] Paul introduces Adam: Adam was born and raised in Denver, CO. He and his fiancé are getting married in August this year. Adams works in the government affairs lobbying space in Colorado. For fun he loves skiing, hiking, reading and recovery work. After his first drink at age 14, Adam knew he wanted to do more of it. He says he was a fearful kid and as he grew older his fears became more tangible, and he never felt prepared to deal with them. A lack of confidence and feelings of not adapting like others found him seeking comfort in alcohol and other drugs. In the transition between high school and college, Adam shares that his substance use increased because it was more accessible. Stressed out while studying abroad in Rome found him developing a nightly drinking habit to cope. Adam was in a cycle of binge drinking and drinking nightly after graduation and starting his career. He kept defending his drinking as he is just doing it for now and eventually, he will stop. Adam was keeping a bottle of vodka in his car and hiding how much he was drinking from his partner. In 2021 after a weekend filled with drinking, Adam’s wife came home from errands to find him unresponsive. He ended up in the hospital with a BAC over .4. After a mini-intervention by his family, he said he just wouldn’t drink but wasn’t interested in asking for help. He was able to white-knuckle for 150 days, got divorced and then got a new job and apartment. He decided that it was long enough to quit drinking and went out with friends. After several months of drinking again and then getting into trouble at work, Adam began to realize he wasn’t having fun anymore. Some friends that were in a 12-step program invited him to join them and he decided to say yes and hasn’t left yet. Adam identifies with the word “alcoholic” and feels like it helps others view the word differently by seeing normal people using the word. Once starting the program, he dove into the work in addition to reading books and relating to other peoples stories. Realizing he needed help and that he couldn’t control his drinking was a weight lifted for Adam. Adam is still working with a sponsor to continue to learn more about himself. Adam tries to find ways to integrate recovery into his day and be more present with his loved ones. Adam shares he is no longer overwhelmed with fears since he has more tools to help him now. Adam’s parting piece of guidance: keep trying, don’t give up on yourself and keep coming back. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you’ve got to take the stairs back up. WE can do this. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes
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56:21
RE 531: Physical Healing Year One AF
Today we have Maggie. She is 42 years old, from Switzerland, and she took her last drink on February 24th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more. In October of this year, we are going to Peru! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. [02:43] Thoughts from Paul: A question Paul hears and sees frequently is what to expect when we put the bottle down. He shares that the destruction of alcohol happens in three steps. First the spiritual component, then mental and finally physical. Healing tends to happen in the reverse order. There will be overlap and the transition is not quite linear, nor does the healing ever stop. Paul expands on what to expect when healing begins and how it can look for our bodies and minds in the first week, month, six months to a year. [12:06] Paul introduces Maggie: Maggie is from Switzerland but lives in Hong Kong with her husband Chris and their four dogs. They enjoy spending time on the beach, stand up paddling and triathlons. Professionally, Maggie was the head of IT in investment banking but has recently changed careers and now is an options equity trader. Maggie says she had her first drink when she was 13 and instantly felt relief from her anxiety. During her teen years, she says she and her friends spent a lot of time going out to bars and she discovered clubbing and cocaine when she was 18. Maggie did well in school and started working with hedge funds after graduating. She says the workdays ended at 4pm and everyone would go out to have drinks afterwards. Her drinking wasn’t concerning to her at this point in time. Maggie moved to Hong Kong when she was 24 and this is when she began to realize that she didn’t have an off switch when it came to alcohol. Everyone else would be ready to go home and Maggie says she was just getting started. From the age of 20 to around 30, Maggie says things got progressively worse. While everything looked successful and stable on the outside, inside she was falling apart. Maggie would compare herself with people that were worse off than her as a way to justify her drinking. Moderation entered the picture, and she would sign up for a lot of physical activities as a way to force herself to be sober. Maggie moved to Singapore before COVID but then lost her job and was there for a year without her husband. That is when she went from binge drinking to daily drinking. Upon her return to Hong Kong, her husband told her she needed to go to AA. After four years of stops and starts while trying to make AA work, Maggie knew she needed to try something different. Addicted to multiple substances, Maggie checked herself into rehab but relapsed as soon as she left. After her return to Hong Kong, Maggie tried another location where they used EMDR therapy which helped her find the root causes of her addiction issues. Maggie was given Antabuse after leaving rehab and that has helped alcohol become a non-negotiable for her. In sobriety she learned that she couldn’t return to her old job. She has made a career change that allows her to work less hours and find a new hobby creating and selling her art. Maggie feels peaceful now. Her goals are to continue to do sports and be a better athlete, continue to travel and maintain her current peaceful lifestyle. Maggie’s parting piece of guidance: hang in there and you will eventually get there. Never give up and maybe also explore the root cause of what is causing the drinking in the first place. Recovery Elevator This isn’t a no to alcohol but a yes to a better life. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes
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53:38
RE 530: The Keys to Your Dream Car
Today we have Kaylee. She’s 33 years old from Camp Hill, PA and took her last drink on December 24th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link – learn more and save 50% off of a device Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more. [03:38] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a comment that he heard recently in a Café RE chat. Stephanie said she eventually called the fight with alcohol. It is another way to frame the moment where we surrender to what is when it comes to our drinking. We know moderation isn’t working, anxiety is getting worse and the shame and torture from alcohol is reaching unprecedented levels. It becomes time to throw in the towel. He also shares a line from an upcoming interviewee who stated, “sobriety has given me the keys to the car of my dreams, I just hate the color”. So, the universe will always align with our hopes, our dreams, and desires, but we may want the package to look different. It is all about accepting the journey that life places in front of you. [07:08] Paul introduces Kaylee: Kaylee is 33 and lives in Camp Hill, PA. She has two daughters aged 15 and six. She is still trying to figure out what she likes to do for fun, but enjoys movies, concerts and spending time with her daughters. Kaylee says she was a sensitive kid. She struggled with depression and self-harm when she was very young and was always searching for a remedy her feelings. Kaylee drank experimentally by sporadically sneaking alcohol out of her mom’s cabinet. When she was 15, she was assaulted and learned early on that using alcohol could help numb her pain. Kaylee says that any time her emotions were strong, she knew she could use alcohol to not think about the negative emotions and things that happened to her. Her usage became a regular thing on the weekends with friends while she was a teenager. Kaylee had her first daughter when she was 17 and thought maybe she was done with the party life. She didn’t drink while pregnant but not long after her daughter was born, she was right back to drinking. Moving to her first apartment at age 21 also contributed to an increase in her drinking and now she felt free to drink however she wanted to, including by herself. When Kaylee went right back to drinking after her second daughter, she knew she needed to try to cut back and moderate. She was taking online quizzes asking, “am I an alcoholic?” and considered AA meetings only to determine she was fine and could cut back on her own. After a few years trying moderation, Kaylee found herself in a dark place with suicidal thoughts. She decided to seek therapy and was open with someone about her drinking for the first time. She was able to get sober for about six months. In January 2024 after a breakup, Kaylee found herself drinking heavily again. After calling a suicide hotline looking for help, she ended up going to detox for a week. After detox she continued an outpatient program but again thought she could moderate. As Christmas approached, Kaylee was thinking that she could not continue drinking into another year. She began to talk to a good friend of hers who was extremely supportive. The first few weeks were tough, but she started to get better physically. Within the first month she says her mind started coming back and she started feeling more like herself. Kaylee reconnected to her faith and became more open about her struggles which she says helps a lot. Kaylee says the tools she uses the most in her recovery are journaling, talking to someone when she is having cravings or triggers, praying and meditation, and staying open with those close to her. Recovery Elevator Rule 22 – lighten up, let’s not take ourselves too seriously. I love you guys. Café RE RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes
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42:26
RE 529: It Doesn't Matter What You Have
Today we have Jenny. She is 38 years old from Hudson, WI and she took her last drink on February 16, 2020. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Recovery Elevator has a nonprofit called Café RE which is our alcohol-free community. For all of our happenings and what we offer, click on Recovery Elevator Events. [02:35] Thoughts from Paul: It doesn’t really matter what word or label we attach to our relationship with alcohol. It doesn’t matter what we call it; we still need to do something about it. Paul says that his own pursuits of solving the “why” behind his drinking and how his addiction took hold has been a revealing journey of self-discovery even he won’t be able to pin down exactly why he crashed and burned so hard. When we relentlessly scour the past for reasons why we drink, we take our energies away from the only moment where true healing and peace reside, which is this very moment right now. Addiction does everything it can to pull us from the present moment. Ruminating on what happened, what you have tends to be fruitless. Befriend and make peace the part of you that seeks oblivion and self-destruction. An addiction path may be what our souls choose in hopes of teaching us what really matters in life. [09:03] Paul introduces Jenny: Jenny is a previous guest and was featured in Episode 417 back in 2023 after celebrating three years alcohol-free. Jenny is married and they have a seven-year-old son. She enjoys exercise, adventure and being outside. She does professional development for the construction industry. Jenny drinking when she was 11 years old with the goal of being a rebel. She says she had a goal of being a tough, naughty girl and says it let her down the road to 22 years of binging and going on benders with alcohol and drugs. In her late twenties, Jenny had a miscarriage and says that it was at that point that she knew she had a problem, and she didn’t think she’d be able to stop. She and her husband had their son in 2017 and decided a life change was needed so they moved back home after living out west for a while. She was 31 years old, unemployed, had a newborn son and was deeply in debt. The move to her in-law’s basement and being back in her hometown opening old wounds drove Jenny to use alcohol more and more to escape. Rock bottom came for Jenny after Super Bowl Sunday 202. She got very sick while driving and called out of work. For the next few days, she was hungover and thinking about ways to end things. A spiritual awakening and vision of an uncle that had passed away before she was born, led Jenny to get up and decide enough was enough. Jenny says the first week was hard like ripping a bandage off and bleed profusely. All aspects of her life needed to be explored. She wanted to live a life of integrity and knew she needed to do the right things for herself. She feels like every day is a victory for all of us on the journey. After a year without alcohol, her husband encouraged her to find connection and she tried AA. That group helped her define her higher power and she loves AA and the 12 steps. She finds that friendships in recovery are so much deeper. In the last few years since she was on the podcast, Jenny says not much has changed but life is more stable now. When she quit drinking, she was able to address other issues that she wasn’t aware she had. She is capable of just being and seeking peace in her life. Jenny knows that relapse is a non-negotiable for her. She says she hasn’t come this far to only come this far. Being able to tell the whole story about things that happen is important to her. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. Café RE RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes
It isn't a NO to alcohol, but a YES to a better life! Best selling author Paul Churchill, along with Kristopher Oyen interview people who have stepped away from alcohol in their own lives. Each week this podcast does a deep dive into an exploration of what a booze free life might look like from various perspectives and opinions.
If you are sick and tired of alcohol making you sick and tired, we invite you to listen to Recovery Elevator. Check out what an alcohol free life can look like as others share their own stories of sobriety. If you are sober curious, newly sober, supporting a loved one or living your best life already in recovery, then you are in the right place.
This podcast addresses what to do if you’re addicted to alcohol, or if you think you’re an alcoholic. Other topics include, does moderate drinking work, does addiction serve a purpose, what happens to the brain when we quit drinking, should you track sobriety time, is A.A. right for you, spirituality, and more.
Similar to other recovery podcasts like This Naked Mind, the Shair Podcast, and the Recovered Podcast, Paul and Kris discuss a topic and then interview someone who has ditched the booze.
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