Help Me Be Me

• Ep 252: Breakup Loss: The Mirror of Completeness

  If you’ve been unable to let go of a relationship or a part of you feels tethered to it, it could be in part the longing for the feeling of completeness. Breakups are also losses of routine and a feeling that we are not alone in the world. A lot of the loss is that concept of our life, not the person we are partnered with and who they are in reality. One thing we can move through as we process a breakup is the loss of that ideal: what we wanted the relationship to be, wished it would become, visualized it would be in the future. Separate from that we can respect the real reasons the relationship ended: who the other person was and why it was not sustainable. That’s what this episode is about: negotiating the two sides to a loss of a partner: the loss of the idea – the mirror we saw of ourselves. And then the loss of the other person. I think in the mourning/healing process we get confused about which feelings are coming from where, which can make closure difficult. You might have had a really bad relationship but some part of you felt reliant on it – this can be confusing in the wake of moving on. Regardless if you’re suffering I recommend therapy for this stage of healing. Sending love!! Here is the book I mentioned that I am reading: https://amzn.to/4kNQj4P Support this week’s sponsors:   BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month Headspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com  Mint Mobile: mintmobile.com/helpmebeme - get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ep 251: A Midlife Reckoning - Reassessing Happiness

  There comes a time when we take stock of our lives and ask whether or not it’s still working for us. That might be our self-definition, our career, our relationship, or all of the above. You might arrive at this by accident, as in a health issue that forces the wake up, or you might simply recognize the feeling and ask, “Why am I so numb and unfulfilled?” This is an episode to help you look at whatever value system you have gotten lost within so you can set better boundaries around it. Often times we get seduced by external definitions of a path and we pour ourselves into it, never stopping to question whether or not it’s really rewarding for us. Other times we just grow out of it and we need to stop and reassess if a change is needed. Sending love!   Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order and get free shipping.  Mint Mobile: mintmobile.com/helpmebeme - get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ep 250: Boundarying Conflicting Relationships

  This is for complicated relationships with complicated boundaries, for example when you are stuck in a relationship you dislike, or you are dating but have gone through a life shift, so you fear choosing the wrong person. The reason I chose this topic is often when we are not fully activating our boundaries around the concepts of what we want and what rewards us, we allow a situation or another person to decide our future, for us. So something external will push us into a long-term situation that we never actively wanted or designed. When we are not fully solved as individuals, we may not know why we are not happy, what is not sitting right, and whether or not that’s “valid” for us to feel what we feel. In other words – there is a vagueness to our own feelings and we question ourselves, which keeps us more stuck in a situation. We may be emotionally ambivalent or have opposite feelings in a relationship, like dating when you are a single parent: any new relationship might bring up opposing priorities that need to be defined for a first time.  Although the situations I discuss are very different, walking into them with awareness of how you feel and simply giving yourself an opportunity to process feelings can be incredibly helpful and enlightening. Heads up there are TONS of journaling prompts in this one! Support our sponsors: Gabb: gabb.com/helpmebme - for the best deals sign up today, no contract required.  BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ep 249: Emotional Reinforcement - Building Confidence with Love

  Are you feeling anxious, overwhelmed and insecure? This is full of tools for creating an inner sense of sanctuary: a clarity and calm. This is designed for artists and sensitive types who are more open and therefore porous to the world. We take in a lot, feel a lot, and can become inundated with “feedback” which can be heavy to say the least. It’s important to cleanse your energy periodically: to tune your focus and reaffirm a helpful, positive reality versus a negative one. I offer tools and reflections for how to recalibrate your energy toward positivity. So zhuzhing up the inside through manual practices. Sending love! Here are the spiritual books I referenced and if they trigger you in any way, skip them and forget I brought them up! There’s a lot of “new” thinking in these… E Squared Inner Work You Are Psychic The Seat of the Soul Many Lives, Many Masters Notes to George: The Whisper   Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order and get free shipping.  Gabb: gabb.com/helpmebme - for the best deals sign up today, no contract required.   Meaningful Beauty: Meaningfulbeauty.com/helpmebeme to receive 25% off and get the Targeted Treatment Duo gift set for free! Headspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ep 248: Learning to Act While Anxious – Growing Trust in Self

  We often get decision paralysis or feel intense anxiety around actions that need to be taken, especially when we perceive the stakes to be high. Even if you feel like the answer is obvious it can be really hard to trust yourself, which leads many to ask others to make the decisions for them. What we often feel is a dominant fear of hurting someone else or letting go of something familiar. This intense resistance is another shape of codependency or the group of traits associated with being parentified at a young age. This is an episode to help you move through difficult, anxiety provoking decisions even when you feel intensely ambivalent and fear mis stepping. The trick is to make decisions despite the feeling in your body – to make moves strategically based on what you conceptually KNOW is the next best thing to do.  Feeling afraid if often just our body saying “this is going to cost me a lot of energy and I don’t want to go through it.” It’s an energy-saving resistance and not reflective of the actual pain that this thing will cause. This is an episode to help you walk through something that your body is currently resisting. What we think will happen if we move through hard stuff is that it will take a long time or we will lose control and or stop functioning. While triggering moves can stir the muck of our pond, they also lighten us and free us up: they grow our muscles and strengths as we evolve in our lives. This has a lot of tools and ways to come back home to self: come from love, use your own best thinking, let the rest go. Support this week’s sponsors! Vionic Shoes: vionicshoes.com and use code HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your entire order when you log into your account. 1 time use only. Gabb Wireless: Protecting your kids has never been easier. For the best deals, sign up to Gabb today – no contract required – at gabb.com/helpmebeme Lumen: Head to http://lumen.me/HELPMEBEME for 15% off your purchase     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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