LOVERS by shan

Shout out to the sponsor of this episode Tonal. Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase. Just go to tonal.com and use promo code LOVERS.
Big love to the sponsor of this episode, Masterclass. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/lovers
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In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Affion Crockett for a conversation about love, timing, and what it really takes to build a relationship that works.
Affion is actually part of my own love story. He’s the reason Jared and I met. But in this conversation, we turn the lens on him.
Now in his 50s, after years of dating, therapy, and the loss of his father, Affion shares that he finally feels clear on what he’s looking for in a partner, and what he’s no longer willing to force.
For a long time, he believed in the idea that if you try hard enough, you can make a relationship work. But watching his father spend years in an unhappy marriage, and ultimately pass away still carrying that weight, changed how he sees love completely.
We talk about why some relationships aren’t meant to work no matter how much effort you put in, why “happy wife, happy life” doesn’t always lead to real fulfillment, and what it looks like to pursue a relationship that actually adds to your life instead of draining it.
This isn’t a story about giving up on love. It’s about getting honest about what love should feel like, and having the clarity to wait for the right fit.
If you’ve ever tried to make something work that just didn’t click, or wondered if it’s too late to find the kind of relationship you really want, this episode is for you.
Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet
https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only

Follow Affion Crockett
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/affioncrockett/
Watch A Hip-Hop Story Now → https://www.ahiphopstory.com/

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.squarespace.com/LOVERS for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use CODE: LOVERS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Sex is a skill, and you can learn how to be the best lover in bed! Join Beducated today at https://beducate.me/loversapril.

Lots of love to our sponsor, Quince. Go to Quince.com/LOVERS for free shipping and 365-day returns.
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In this episode of Lovers, Kamie Crawford returns for a third time, and this time, she’s engaged.
When Kamie first came on the podcast, she was coming out of a very public breakup and rebuilding her life from the ground up. In her second appearance, she shared a mindset that sparked a lot of conversation: “I’m not a girlfriend, I want to be a wife.” She was dating with intention, holding high standards, and refusing to entertain anything that didn’t align with the life she actually wanted.
People had a lot to say. Some called it unrealistic. Others said her standards were too high.
Now she’s back, engaged to the love of her life, in a relationship that didn’t just meet her standards but exceeded them.
In this conversation, we talk about what it looks like to hold your standards in dating, how to navigate criticism when people tell you you’re asking for too much, and why the language you use around love, marriage, and your future actually shapes what you experience.
Kamie shares how she approached dating with intention, why she refused to shrink her desires to be more “realistic,” and what happened when she chose to dream bigger instead.
If you’ve ever been told to lower your standards, questioned whether you’re asking for too much, or wondered if holding out for the kind of love you actually want is worth it, this episode is for you.

Watch our other interviews with Kamie Crawford on LOVERS:
2021: How to Look at a Breakup Differently → https://youtu.be/vSc0hF__y_4?si=E9u8zKsxdCEBbG8r
2023: This is What Happens When a Single Woman Turns 30 → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSc0hF__y_4

Want to manifest a love that FEELS exactly as you’ve always dreamt it would (in your wildest dreams)? Get specific with that language using our LOVERS feelings wheel + Romantic Wishlist worksheet → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/the-feelings-wheel---newsletter-subscribers-only

Follow Kamie Crawford
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/kamiecrawford/
Watch her podcast Relationshipshit → https://www.youtube.com/@relationshitpod
Website → https://www.kamiecrawford.com/

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode. Go to cozyearth.com/LOVERS for up to 20% off!
Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join the world's largest sex school and access 150+ courses for curious adults: https://beducate.me/lovers.
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In this episode of Lovers, I sit down with Lisa Bilyeu to talk about a decision a lot of women think about… but don’t always say out loud: what if you don’t want kids?
Lisa is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Quest Nutrition, and founder of Impact Theory Studios. She’s known for building billion-dollar businesses alongside her husband while also speaking openly about identity, marriage, and what it means to choose a life that actually fits you.
Lisa built a life that looked like the dream. Marriage, stability, and the role she thought she was supposed to want. For a long time, she even stepped into the idea of being a traditional wife. But over time, something didn’t sit right.
What happens when you realize the life you chose doesn’t actually fit you anymore?
We talk about what it looked like for Lisa to tell her husband that she didn’t want children, how they navigated being in a marriage where one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, and why choosing to be child-free doesn’t mean something is missing, broken, or selfish.
This conversation challenges the idea that every woman is meant to become a mother, and unpacks the pressure many women feel around motherhood, marriage, and identity. We also explore what it means to redefine a successful relationship on your own terms, whether that includes children or not.
If you’ve ever questioned whether motherhood is for you, wondered how to tell your partner you don’t want kids, or felt conflicted about choosing career, independence, or a different kind of life, this episode is for you.

EXCLUSIVE LOVERS COMMUNITY RESOURCE
Need help starting a difficult conversation? Access our guided journal inside the LOVERS community: → https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/navigating-change-hard-conversations-in-relationships-community-exclusive

Follow Lisa Bilyeu
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/
→ Watch & learn on Impact Theory: https://impacttheory.com/
→ Explore her personal website: https://lisabilyeu.com/
→ Listen to her podcast Women of Impact: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-of-impact/id1435217865
→ Get her book Radical Confidence: https://radicalconfidence.com/


Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get $200 off your Tonal purchase! Get a complete gym + a trainer in your home by going to http://tonal.com, then use promo code LOVERS for that big discount.

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In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Aida Mariam Davis, author of Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom, to explore one question: Is your sex life by design?

We unpack the idea that so much of our sexual identity isn’t accidental, it’s constructed. From childhood messaging that disconnects us from our bodies, to adulthood expectations that swing between repression and performance, Aida breaks down how Western culture creates a fragmented relationship with intimacy. The result? A sex life that often feels confusing, isolating, or performative rather than intentional and embodied.

Together, we explore what it looks like to reclaim your sexuality on your own terms. Aida shares how her relationship with her husband was rooted in freedom, patience, and self-possession, not pressure or performance, and how that created the foundation for deeper intimacy, trust, and desire.

This conversation will challenge what you’ve been taught about sex, and invite you to design something that actually fits you.

Resources mentioned
→ What If Your Sex Life Is By Design? | Intimate Life Audit: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/what-if-your-sex-life-is-by-design-intimate-life-audit
→ A Guide to the Sexual Journey As We Grow: https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/normal-sexual-development-from-0-18

Follow Aida Mariam Davis
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aidamariam/
→ Learn more about Decolonize Design: https://www.decolonizedesign.com/
→ Get her book Kindred Creation: Parables and Paradigms for Freedom https://rep.club/products/kindred-creation?srsltid=AfmBOor4haNsPUvlYWcMk7oxSWdcmG-yZCTBeLjGtTDoFO_IaJXU_Jwj

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you taken my MasterClass yet? New subscribers get access to my class and hundreds of others starting at $10 per month. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership at http://masterclass.com/lovers
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In this episode of Lovers, I’m joined by Mark Manson, the bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope, and Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, to talk about what men actually think about before they propose, and why waiting doesn’t mean what you think it means.

Mark shares the story of how he “agonized” over proposing to his now wife of ten years. Despite being deeply in love, he struggled with doubt, timing, and the pressure to feel completely certain. The turning point came during a conversation with his stepmother, who told him she had been married for over thirty years and still couldn’t say with absolute certainty that she “knew” he was the one. That advice freed him from the illusion that certainty is required before commitment.

We also unpack my own proposal story with Jared, including the untold truth about the pressure I put on him to propose and what was actually happening behind the scenes. The story I shared online isn’t the full story, and in this episode, we fill in the missing pieces.

Lauren Morrison, my sister and the author of Be in the Room, joins as guest host. As a longtime fan of Mark Manson, she helps us dig into the myth of the two-year rule, the idea that if a man hasn’t proposed by a certain timeline, you must not be “the one,” and the false belief that real love comes with instant certainty.

This conversation challenges the cultural narrative that a proposal delay reflects doubt about your worth. Instead, it reveals how doubt is often part of the process, not a sign that something is wrong.

If you’ve ever wondered what’s taking so long, this episode is for you.

Get MasterClass Today
For real, what are you waiting for? My class on MasterClass is one of the best things I’ve ever done and I’m sure every other instructor would agree!
Go to http://masterclass.com/lovers
Get an additional 15% off any MasterClass annual membership
Follow Mark Manson
→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson/
→ Listen to Mark’s podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/solved-with-mark-manson/id1247526593
→ Sign up for Purpose and experience Love Maps: https://purpose.app/
Follow Lauren Morrison

→ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachlaurenmorrison/
→ Get Lauren’s new book https://www.amazon.com/Be-Room-Shrinking-Leading-Purpose/dp/B0FM4HGYSP
→ Sign up for a free coaching consultation with Lauren https://www.beintheroomcoaching.com/work-with-lauren

Want more Lover?
Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter
Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community
Explore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.