The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

In this episode, Dr. Nicole LePera discusses her book on how to reparenting your inner child can transform your life heal old wounds. She explores how childhood experiences create implicit emotional memories that shape adult behaviors and nervous system responses. Dr. Nicole also introduces her Individual Development Model, covering five developmental spheres, and explains how “parenting yourself” means becoming your own nurturing caregiver. The conversation addresses shame, resilience, and why change feels uncomfortable before it feels better, emphasizing that small, consistent actions build self-trust and create lasting transformation.

Exciting News!! My new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life, is now available!!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Key Takeaways:

The concept of the inner child and its impact on adult behavior.

The psychological and biological basis of childhood adaptations.

Implicit emotional memories and their influence on current behaviors.

The Individual Development Model and its five spheres of development.

The process of “parenting the inner child” and its practical applications.

The role of shame in personal identity and its development.

Strategies for breaking the shame cycle and fostering self-compassion.

The importance of small, consistent actions in personal change and healing.

The definition of resilience as the ability to process emotions and adapt to life’s challenges.

For full show notes:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Connect with Dr. Nicole LePera:  Website | Instagram | LinkedInIf you enjoyed this conversation with Nicole LePera, check out these other episodes:

Internal Family Systems with Richard Schwartz

How to Find Your Path to Healing and Post-Traumatic Growth with Ralph De La Rosa

By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed, and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

This episode is sponsored by:

Alma has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialities, life experiences, and identities, and 99% of them take insurance. Visit helloalma.com to learn more!

Brodo Broth: Shop the best broth on the planet with Brodo.  Head to Brodo.com/TOYF for 20% off your first subscription order and use code TOYF for an additional $10 off.

Quince: Refresh your wardrobe with Quince by going to Quince.com/feed for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Rocket Money Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/feed.

Pebl – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at hipebl.ai

Hello Fresh – Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last.

David Protein bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to www.davidprotein.com/FEED
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In this special episode, Eric coaches a listener named Tommy on the most effective strategies to overcome anxiety and build positive habits. Tommy struggles with low-level anxiety, self-doubt, and difficulty acting on healthy intentions. He knows exercise and social connection help his anxiety, but often defaults to avoidance and self-criticism instead. Eric introduces his SPAR framework: Specificity, Prompt, Alignment, and Resilience, to help Tommy create actionable plans and overcome mental hurdles. They also explore self-compassion as a tool for breaking the cycle of guilt and inaction, emphasizing that lasting change requires both structure and kindness toward oneself.

Exciting News!!! My new book, How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available!

Key Takeaways:

Discussion of the challenges in following through on positive behaviors like exercise and social connection.

Exploration of internal struggles, including a harsh inner critic and feelings of shame and inadequacy.

Importance of creating specific, actionable plans to bridge the gap between knowledge and action.

Introduction of the SPAR method: Specificity, Prompt, Alignment, and Resilience.

Examination of the cycle of avoidance and guilt related to anxiety.

Strategies for setting clear intentions and reducing ambiguity in daily plans.

Emphasis on the role of momentum in managing anxiety and maintaining positive behaviors.

Techniques for reframing negative self-talk and treating oneself with kindness.

Encouragement to focus on small successes and build a supportive environment for change.

For full show notes:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this special episode, check out these other episodes:

How a Little Becomes a Lot: A Real Coaching Session on Small Changes That Stick

How to Create Elastic Habits that Adapt to Your Day with Stephen Guise

By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed, and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

This episode is sponsored by:

Brodo Broth: Shop the best broth on the planet with Brodo.  Head to Brodo.com/TOYF for 20% off your first subscription order and use code TOYF for an additional $10 off.

Quince: Refresh your wardrobe with Quince by going to Quince.com/feed for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Rocket Money Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/feed.

Pebl – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at hipebl.ai

Hello Fresh – Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last.

David Protein bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to www.davidprotein.com/FEED
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Marisa Renee Lee discusses how to live with uncertainty and find hope in the midst of chronic illness. Marissa shares her personal journey through long Covid, family loss, and prolonged uncertainty, exploring themes of hope, emotional endurance, and identity versus essence. She discusses moving from denial to acceptance, managing chronic pain, and the importance of community support. Drawing on her own experiences and her mother's illness, Marissa offers practical wisdom on asking for help, staying grounded in core values, and choosing love as a guiding principle through life's hardest seasons.

Exciting News!! My new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life, is now available!!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Key Takeaways:

Living with uncertainty and its emotional, physical, and mental challenges.

Personal experiences with long Covid and its impact on daily life.

The concept of hope as a practice rather than blind optimism.

The importance of identity versus essence in coping with illness.

Strategies for managing pain and emotional endurance.

The role of community and compassion in navigating difficult times.

The significance of asking for help and overcoming individualism.

The process of moving from denial to acceptance in the face of adversity.

The distinction between pain and suffering, and how to manage both.

The necessity of celebrating small wins and maintaining perspective during challenging periods.

For full show notes:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with Marisa Renee Lee, check out these other episodes:

How to Find Joy and Healing While Living with Chronic Illness with Meghan O’Rourke

Living with Chronic Illness with Toni Bernhard

By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed, and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

This episode is sponsored by:

Brodo Broth: Shop the best broth on the planet with Brodo.  Head to Brodo.com/TOYF for 20% off your first subscription order and use code TOYF for an additional $10 off.

Quince: Refresh your wardrobe with Quince by going to Quince.com/feed for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

Rocket Money Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/feed.

Pebl – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at hipebl.ai

Hello Fresh – Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last.

David Protein bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to www.davidprotein.com/FEED
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jefferson Fisher discusses how to have better conversations by learning to argue less and listen more. Jefferson emphasizes that winning arguments is counterproductive, as it damages relationships and breeds contempt. Instead, he advocates for approaching conversations with curiosity and a goal of mutual understanding. Key strategies include proper timing, emotional self-awareness, creating conversational “frames” to set clear expectations, and avoiding over-explanation. Fisher also highlights the importance of acknowledging your emotional state and traveling light by addressing lingering issues calmly rather than carrying unnecessary emotional baggage.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or frustrated by your inability to follow through, this episode offers a grounded, actionable path forward, one small step at a time.

Exciting News!!! Coming in March, 2026, my new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Key Takeaways:

The concept that winning an argument is not the goal; understanding is more important.

Viewing arguments as knots to be untangled rather than battles to be won.

Strategies for effectively handling difficult conversations, including timing and emotional awareness.

The importance of acknowledging and validating feelings during discussions.

The role of patience in resolving complex issues over time.

The significance of timing in initiating difficult conversations.

The impact of over-explaining and the importance of being succinct in communication.

The three rules for better conversations: control, confidence, and connection.

The concept of creating a “frame” for conversations to set clear expectations and reduce anxiety.

For full show notes:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with Jefferson Fisher, check out these other episodes:

How We Can Improve Communication in Polarized Times with Charles Duhigg

How to Unlock the Power of Deeper Connections with David Brooks

By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed, and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

This episode is sponsored by:

Rocket Money Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/feed.

Pebl – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at hipebl.ai

Hello Fresh – Get 10 free meals + a FREE Zwilling Knife (a $144.99 value) on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last.

David Protein bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to www.davidprotein.com/FEED

Brodo Broth: Shop the best broth on the planet with Brodo.  Head to Brodo.com/TOYF for 20% off your first subscription order and use code TOYF for an additional $10 off.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special solo episode, Eric Zimmer shares five powerful insights from his book How a Little Becomes a Lot. Rather than offering quick fixes or surface-level advice, Eric explores the deeper mechanics of real, lasting change. He unpacks why small, consistent actions outperform bursts of motivation… how to shift from self-judgment to skill-building… and why the stories we tell ourselves shape everything from our habits to our happiness. You’ll also learn a practical, compassionate approach to working with your inner critic, not by silencing it, but by understanding it.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or frustrated by your inability to follow through, this episode offers a grounded, actionable path forward, one small step at a time.

Exciting News!!! Coming in March, 2026, my new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Key Takeaways:

Small actions create big change; if they’re low resistance and consistent.

Real transformation isn’t about intensity. It’s about doing what you can actually sustain over time. Change is not a character trait, it’s a skill.

If something isn’t working, it’s not because you’re broken. It’s because you haven’t found the right strategy yet. Most of our struggles happen at “choice points.”

The tension between what we want now and what we want most determines the direction of our lives. Your mind is constantly creating meaning, and it’s often wrong.

Learning to question your interpretations can dramatically reduce unnecessary suffering. The inner critic isn’t the enemy, it’s a misguided protector.

When you learn to relate to it with curiosity instead of resistance, it loses its power. The language you use shapes your emotional reality.

Extreme language (“always,” “never,” “this is unbearable”) intensifies distress more than the situation itself.

For full show notes:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with Eric Zimmer, check out these other episodes:

Why Willpower Isn’t Enough: The Tiny Habits Method Explained with Dr. BJ Fogg

How to Make Lasting Changes with John Norcross

By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed, and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

This episode is sponsored by:

Rocket Money Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/feed.

Pebl – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at hipebl.ai

David Protein bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to www.davidprotein.com/FEED

Brodo Broth: Shop the best broth on the planet with Brodo.  Head to Brodo.com/TOYF for 20% off your first subscription order and use code TOYF for an additional $10 off.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices