Delusional Diaries

• we're too old for this

  it’s another chaotic week on Delusional Diaries! the girls are packing for back-to-back trips, from Maddie’s Cabo bachelorette to a very convenient brand trip that just so happens to be in Cabo. they talk bachelorettes, friend group dynamics, and why mixing people from different chapters of your life is always a wild experiment.from party floors destroyed by heels to the great “SATC shoe debate,” they reflect on their Halloween weekend, the aftermath of too much tequila, and how hangovers hit way harder now, sparking a full conversation about growing out of the “every weekend” phase and choosing soft life nights in over blacking out. they also come to their shared realization that maybe mocktails shouldn’t cost the same as cocktails. the episode takes its usual chaotic turn with a cozy winter rant: daylight savings depression and the girls’ love-hate relationship with the holidays. they get into pop culture deep dives, from Lily Allen and David Harbour drama to People’s Sexiest Man Alive and the celebrity edits they can’t stop watching. by the end, they’re debating whether singers are ever sexy, laughing at actor crushes, and ending on the most unserious note possible: Halley watching football on a plane just to calm her anxiety. it’s unfiltered, funny, and weirdly therapeutic: just two girls overthinking life, love, and pop culture with zero structure and maximum serotonin.Timestamps 0:19 - Not time to be sick 5:18 - Halloween 17:35 - Driving diaries 25:01 - Actors IRL 32:30 - Atlanta for the day 36:59 - Online stalker 38:29 - What do you want to be when you grow up 43:53 - People’s Sexiest Man AliveLinksChime - chime.com/diariesQuince - quince.com/delusional for free shipping and 365 day returnsUncommon Goods - uncommongoods.com/diaries for 15% off Wayfair - wayfair.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• bidding wars

  after the travel day from hell, Halley and Jaz are back in New York, and they’re back behind the mic to tell the tale. this week’s episode of Delusional Diaries takes you inside their 12-hour flight delay, Detroit detour, and the chaotic mission to make it home in time for their Halloween party. from near meltdowns at TSA to accidentally exiting the airport mid-delay (rookie mistake), the girls relive every delusional moment with unfiltered honesty and way too much laughter.once they finally touch down, it’s back to business: 36 bottles of tequila delivered at 7 a.m., party prep chaos, and a rare beauty event that turned into a bidding war against Benny Blanco (spoiler: they lost). between horror travel stories, spray tan small talk, and gym class trauma, Halley and Jaz unpack the kind of week that makes you question your sanity and still somehow laugh about it.they wrap up with some classic chaos: friendship growth, separate bedrooms in marriage, childhood lies, and the eternal debate: do you ever really “go to bed angry”? it’s the perfect mix of airline rage, emotional regulation, and delusional girl therapy. buckle up (literally), this one’s turbulence from start to finish.Timestamps 0:17 - Travel day from hell 15:20 - A short trip to LA 22:38 - The NYC Marathon 28:35 - Light sleepers 32:10 - Relationship questions and winter uglies 39:55 - Dress codes 43:09 - Our biggest lies as kids Links Uncommon Goods: https://www.uncommongoods.com/diaries use code diaries for 15% off Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• haunted by our own choices

  It’s Halloween on Delusional Diaries… which means cheap wigs, chaos, and way too many confessions. Halley and Jaz kick off the episode dressed as the Timothée Chalamet x Pete Davidson SNL duo, spiraling about bedside manner, Yelp reviews, and why bad Amazon wigs might actually be a cursed tradition at this point.From Jaz’s Bottega meltdown in Madrid (and the boldest “move forward” gaslight ever) to Halley’s questionable life choices that somehow always work out in her favor, the girls are in their unfiltered storytelling era. They’re talking eating dog treats out of desperation, blocking trolls with “almond daughter” usernames, and why sharing snacks with your boyfriend should be considered psychological warfare.Then it’s Halloween nostalgia, space cowgirl flashbacks, and a few hot takes about certain activities in the shower, bad costumes, and the “stay in for your future husband” pick-me epidemic. Whether you’re getting ready to go out tonight or staying in with a bottle of wine, this episode will have you laughing, cringing, and texting your best friend mid-listen.Timestamps 0:20 - Happy Halloween from yours truly 4:02 - Bitching hour 11:40 - Standing 10 toes down 22:13 - Jaz’s limo and birthdays27:26 - The block of the week 33:16 - Reading and other hobbies 37:40 - All things Halloween 48:27 - The Halloween party LinksWayfair: wayfair.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• not our truth

  this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz unpack a rollercoaster of chaos: from mourning a literal sauce that was discontinued to a rundown of their time at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show pink carpet. this episode mixes glam & the chaos of the real world like never before, showing that at the end of the day, we all go through the same things, despite our differences.the girls then switch gears to other territories: fitness routines and solidcore playlists. between botox updates, home renovations, and pink carpet glam, Halley and Jaz reflect on how surreal it is to be front row at a fashion show one minute and crying in an elevator the next. that’s real life, and they’re not sugarcoating any of it.they wrap the episode with some tough-love advice for a listener whose best friend can’t stop obsessing over her ex. the verdict? you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. This episode is chaotic, comforting, and so them… the kind of episode you’ll want to have playing while you do your skincare or spiral on the couch. Timestamps 0:16 - The day started off good… 2:22 - Fast food reviews 7:12 - Our first dates with Reed & Kevin9:06 - The VS Fashion Show 26:23 - Halley’s new purchase 32:55 - Newest insecurity36:10 - Botox and babies 39:40 - Advice to our follower LinksDime Beauty - DimeBeauty.com and get 20% off your first order with code PODCAST20Winx - hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% offwayfair - wayfair.com DISCLAIMER: Part of the recorded Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show segment in this episode is presented in partnership with VS PinkSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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• out of principle

  after some tough days separated from each other, this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are back and as unfiltered as ever: kicking things off with workout confessions, liposuction ultimatums, and the anxiety-inducing chaos of showing up late to a class for the first time ever. between accountability pacts and post-gym soreness, the girls dive into the unglamorous side of “getting it together” while keeping it real (and hilarious) about body image, burnout, and self-motivation.then, things get storytime-level juicy: Halley recaps her dreamy trip across London and Copenhagen, complete with vintage shopping, hotel surprises, and airport drama that had her going to war (verbally) with line-cutters. Jaz shares her TSA horror story and why sometimes principle is all that matters, while both reflect on love, long-distance friendship, and more…rounding it out, the girls get chatty about Kris Jenner’s facelift, the return of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and the never-ending New York winter blues. from AI conspiracies to apartment glow-ups and kitchen haters, it’s a full catch-up episode of chaos, confidence, and everything you could dream of: the ultimate comfort listen for anyone who loves a good rant, a little delusion, and a lot of laughter!Timestamps 0:16 - Jaz’s confession7:05 - The most amount of time we ever spent apart 14:04 - The flight back and airport horror stories 27:10 - Hypotheticals 33:04 - Winter scaries 35:37 - Block block block 45:22 - Bitching hour47:13 - Face lifts and VS Fashion Show 50:45 - Childhood jealousy LinksChime - Open an account in 2 minutes at chime.com/diariesWinx - hellowinx.com/delusional for 25% off Cash App - use code “THATSMONEY10” , and get $10 dropped into your account when you order and activate your Cash App Card and send $5 or more to a friend within your first 14 daysDownload Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8u4300cq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Direct Deposit, Overdraft Coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Wayfair - wayfair.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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