BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko

Attachment styles, nervous system regulation, shadow work, journaling, manifesting, boundaries, glow ups. At what point does self-improvement stop being self-love and start becoming evidence that you don’t actually like yourself? In this episode, Margarita turns the lens on the self-help world she’s part of and breaks down, with research to back it up, why the obsession with fixing yourself can keep you stuck. She explains the self-discrepancy trap, how perfectionism and comparison erode your self-worth, and why endlessly learning about boundaries is an illusion of progress.
Chapters
The Self-Discrepancy Trap
Perfectionism
Experiential Avoidance
The Illusion of Progress
When Self-Improvement Becomes Procrastination
Social Comparison
Hedonic Adaptation
The Self-Criticism Spiral
When Healing Becomes Your Identity
Your 2027 Goal: Psychological Flexibility

If you have been in healing mode for years but nothing has actually changed, if you know all the theory but cannot seem to do the thing, or if you are preparing to live your life instead of just living it, this one is for you.

Join Selfish 30 in December, the last round before a break until later in 2027
Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita
Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko
To learn more about Margarita Nazarenko, visit https://www.margaritanazarenko.com

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms. Love you lots like jelly tots xx
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join Selfish 30, Margarita’s 30-day challenge, now running again in December
In this episode she answers your real questions on narcissists, porn, situationships, why he married someone else after 7 years, how to get your husband into conquering mode again, what to do when a man says he is unsure, and why after 13 years there is still no proposal. Plus updates on Selfish 30 and why December is your month to lock in.
Chosen, Margarita’s best marriage tips
Detach - 3 Day Intensive
Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.
Love you lots like jelly tots xx
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join Selfish 30, Margarita’s 30-day challenge starting November 1st

Welcome back to Being Her, where we are officially entering our selfish era. After years of talking about how to get over an ex, move from anxious to secure attachment, and create the life you want, Margarita has realised the answer to all of it is the same: become a little bit more selfish. Not selfish as in taking from others, but deliciously selfish, putting yourself at the centre of your own life and owning it. In this episode, Margarita explains why “decentring men” keeps you thinking about men, why being the good girl hasn’t made you happier or more valued, and how guilt conditioning keeps women convenient instead of unforgettable. She gets candid about her own people-pleasing, finally buying herself caviar, and the difference between being needed and being valued. She also reveals Selfish 30, her brand new 30-day challenge to help you stop delegating your life to others and actually start doing the behaviours of a woman who puts herself first.

In this episode:
1. How is being a good girl actually working out for you
2. Your life is a result of what you repeatedly prioritise
3. Stop volunteering for self sacrifice nobody is giving you a medal
4. Why being selfish feels so uncomfortable
5. Nobody is coming to hand you the life you want
6. Selfish women ask for what they want because they know what they want
7. Become less available to everyone else to become more available to yourself
8. Stop confusing being needed with being valued
9. You cannot think your way into becoming a different woman you have to do the behaviours
10. Selfish 30, 30 days to become the woman you actually want to be

If you are ready to stop thinking about it and actually do something, this is your sign.

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week’s episode comes straight from the DMs: “Can you please make a video about your partner sleeping soundly while you are crying next to him?” It’s a message Margarita gets often, and one she lived herself in her twenties. The internet’s answer is usually just “leave him,” but Margarita argues that skips the most important part: understanding what is actually happening. In this episode, she breaks down the pursue-withdraw dynamic, why men and women experience conflict so differently, and how anxious and avoidant partners are both trying to feel safe in opposite ways. She gets candid about emotional sovereignty, rumination, and handing your emotional weather to someone else. She also explains how to tell a healthy break from stonewalling, emotional overwhelm from emotional punishment, and the one simple test that shows whether it really is time to leave him.

In this episode:
1. Three separate reasons this could be happening and they are all different
2. The pursue withdraw dynamic and why it is so painful
3. Anxious versus avoidant attachment and why these two always find each other
4. Sleep does not prove emotional indifference
5. Why women ruminate and men shut down during conflict
6. Emotional invalidation versus nervous system overload
7. Stonewalling versus taking a healthy break
8. Why women carry the emotional labour of the whole relationship
9. Contempt and emotional punishment disguised as withdrawal
10. What the next day actually tells you about everything

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Mentioned in this episode:
Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode mentioned: The Bossticks with Margarita Nazarenko
Peep the comments on the IG Reel that sparked this conversation

Books mentioned:
Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko
The New Rules by Margarita Nazarenko
To learn more about Margarita Nazarenko, visit https://www.margaritanazarenko.com

Welcome back to Being Her, where today it’s getting juicy, spicy and real life. Margarita is launching her new Substack, Unfiltered with Margarita, and using a viral moment from her recent appearance on The Bossticks to unpack why so many women feel burnt out, frazzled and in constant conflict with the people they love. When a clip about her husband forgetting the diapers in Las Vegas blew up online, the comment section revealed something bigger: women are carrying loads that were never theirs to carry. In this episode, Margarita breaks down the psychology of over-functioning, the difference between caring and controlling, and why stepping back and letting natural consequences play out can transform your relationships. She gets candid about her own over-functioning roots as the child of an immigrant, the mental load, catastrophizing, and why being unbothered means knowing exactly what deserves your energy. As always, 10 takeaways and 10 actionable steps.

In this episode:
1. Stop turning inconveniences into emergencies
2. You are not an emergency service for every adult in your life
3. The psychology of over functioning in a family system
4. Stop confusing caring with controlling
5. Consequences are often the best teacher, stop removing them
6. Your nervous system does not know you are arguing about small things
7. Stop treating every mistake as evidence of something bigger
8. Women are exhausted from monitoring everything
9. You cannot complain about carrying everything while refusing to put it down
10. Being unbothered means knowing what actually deserves your energy

If you do everything and nobody notices, if you correct how everyone else does things because your way is right, or if you are exhausted but cannot actually let go, this one is going to hit home.

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita
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Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.
Love you lots like jelly tots xx
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.