This Tantric Life with Layla Martin

Shownotes  Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist Ian's definition of great sex and how you can bring it into practice Why basic chemical attraction is part of what keeps couples together How dating apps impact relational and sexual experiences The number one key to Ian and his wife's sex life after 25 years together A daily practice for men and one for women to enhance presence and pleasure Bio Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex therapist who works with individuals and couples on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress.    He's regularly featured as an expert in various media, such as The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Economist, and NPR, as well as contributes regularly on the topic of relationships for CNN.    Ian lectures frequently, with recent presentations for the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, the Ackerman Institute, Tony Robbins, Goop, and TED 2021, and is the New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First and the recently published So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.    In addition to being a Clinical Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), Ian is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and is also a member of the American Family Therapy Academy (AFTA).    He's the co-founder and co-director of the Sex Therapy Program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy, one of the oldest and most respected not-for-profit mental health training and treatment facilities in New York City.   You can learn more about Ian's work on his website. Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women   Timestamps 00:00:46 - Guest introduction 00:02:36 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist: FREE VITA Coaching Checklist  00:05:21 - Ian shares how his personal experience inspired him bring his work to the world 00:10:28 - The science behind how pleasure is created in the vagina through intercourse 00:15:53 - How sensual touch above the waist and communication impact sex and pleasure 00:16:59 - How to get a woman's desire going and enhance it throughout sex 00:24:25 - Ian shares his definition of great sex 00:31:18 - Layla explains what a recap after a sexual experience is and how it helps 00:33:00 - Ian and Layla drink MOOD SEX MAGIC 00:37:17 - How basic chemical attraction is part of what keeps couples together 00:39:45 - Can you create sexual desire if it was never there in the first place? 00:43:39 - Chemistry comes in all different forms 00:47:33 - Why porn is easier than partnered sex 00:55:54 - Ian shares what he sees as the biggest contributors to sexual issues 01:00:11 - How dating apps impact relational and sexual experiences 01:06:37 - The role willingness plays when it comes to sex in a long-term partnership 01:09:55 - The 3 different ways sex gets started 01:13:10 - The big key to Ian and his wife's sex life after 25 years together 01:13:56 - Conclusion  

Shownotes  Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist Different ways we unknowingly leak our sexual energy in modern life Key ways to begin rebuilding your sexual energy How exchanging energy with your partner leads to increased pleasure What obstacles men face in becoming multi-orgasmic and how to fix them A simple practice to feel your Qi in less than 30 seconds Bio Lee Holden is a Qi Gong Master who has brought ancient tradition to the mainstream. He's the author of the bestselling book Ready, Set, SLOW and a PBS favorite with shows such as Less Stress, More Energy and Your Fountain of Youth.    Lee is the founder of Holden Qi Gong, an online education center for Eastern Wisdom.   You can learn more about Lee's work on his website and find him on Instagram:  @holdenqigongofficial Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist  00:00:51 - Guest introduction 00:02:11 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification  00:05:30 - Sexual energy as the source of vitality 00:13:26 - When you can celebrate your power, you no longer have to hate yourself  00:14:41 - Transforming sexual energy into life force energy into spiritual energy 00:17:50 - Sexual energy is universal energy 00:22:24 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir using code PODCAST 00:24:20 - Different ways we unknowingly leak our sexual energy in modern life 00:27:45 - Layla's shares her favorite question to take inventory of your stress 00:32:52 - When you're inspired about the future, you have more energy in the present 00:40:36 - Key ways to begin rebuilding your sexual energy 00:44:19 - How sexuality used to be part of prescribed medicine 00:49:54 - How exchanging energy with your partner leads to increased pleasure 00:52:42 - What multi-orgasmic means for men 00:58:34 - How Lee learned to become multi-orgasmic 01:02:03 - Layla's shares her story of how she learned to be multi-orgasmic 01:04:06 - What obstacles men face in becoming multi-orgasmic and how to fix them 01:06:34 - Why becoming multi-orgasmic is important for both the man and his lover 01:09:12 - Energy work can build a bridge so both partners feel in the mood 01:10:51 - How slowing down during sex heightens and amplifies sexual energy 01:11:59 - Lee shares a simple practice to feel your Qi in less than 30 seconds 01:15:08 - Conclusion  

Shownotes  Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist How the American approach to pleasure compares to other cultures Layla shares one of her favorite cemetery sex stories The #1 way to get back into a sexual headspace How to approach shame around your sexuality Dr. Kate shares a take home practice you can use to connect with your body sexually Bio Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D is a Licensed Psychologist (Clinical and Forensic) in California, Florida, New York, and Illinois. She's a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, and PACT III trained couples' therapist.    As the Founder of Modern Intimacy, a nationwide therapy practice, Dr. Balestrieri is a passionate advocate for mental, relational, and sexual health. Throughout her work, Dr. Balestrieri focuses on helping people build resilience and recovery from what ails them to move from a position of pain or discomfort to one of thriving holistically in their lives.    Dr. Balestrieri is the author of What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist's Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection and Pleasure, and is the host of the Get Naked with Dr. Kate podcast.   You can learn more about Dr. Balestrieri's work on her website and find Dr. Balestrieri on Instagram: @drkatebalestrieri Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist  00:00:55 - Guest introduction 00:01:54 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification  00:04:39 - Dr. Kate's 2025 mid-year sex in review 00:05:20 - The top ways Dr. Kate sees people lose desire 00:08:40 - How the American approach to pleasure compares to other cultures 00:11:15 - Layla shares one of her favorite cemetery sex stories 00:13:54 - Layla and Dr. Kate drink MOOD SEX MAGIC Elixir  00:16:19 - Dr. Kate shares a deep dive into her work with sex and addiction 00:18:22 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir using code PODCAST 00:20:27 - What it's like working with sex offenders in prison settings 00:25:04 - How better prevention can stop sexual violence 00:28:02 - The #1 way to get back into a sexual headspace 00:30:50 - How sexuality has changed from a cultural perspective over the last 20 years 00:32:11 - Dr. Kate's personal favorite thing about sex 00:32:54 - Dr. Kate shares her current sexual growth edges both personally and professionally 00:35:14 - How to approach shame around your sexuality 00:36:28 - Layla explains what it means to "eat shame for breakfast" 00:37:33 - Dr. Kate shares a take home practice you can use to connect with your body sexually 00:39:17 - Pleasure comes from within and you can access it anytime you desire 00:42:35 - Conclusion  

Show Notes  Take your business to the next level with my ⁠VITA™ Coaching Checklist⁠  The difference between objective truth vs. your truth (a.k.a. how to stop arguing with your own assumptions) A practical script for conflict that doesn't melt into blame soup The Five A's of Requests (Ask, Acknowledgement, Apology, Action, Agreements) How to repair trust and build integrity like it's a daily gym routine Why "Do you want to be heard, helped, or held?" is the relationship cheat code Men's work, shame alchemy, and the real work of becoming who you say you are Bio Andrew Horn is an entrepreneur, writer, and relational leadership coach whom Forbes calls "Dale Carnegie for the digital age." He grew his last company, Tribute, to eight figures in revenue and millions of users, landing on the Inc. 500, before stepping away to focus on coaching and transformation. He also co-founded Junto, a community for leaders to explore men's work and personal growth. Andrew has shared his insights on global stages including Conscious Capitalism, Summit Series, and Google Talks, and coaches founders and executives from some of today's most innovative companies, including Hinge, Casper, and Everyday Dose. Learn more about Andrew's work ⁠on his website⁠, at ⁠Junto⁠, and follow him on Instagram @itsandrewhorn   00:00 Truth hits like electricity: authenticity, curiosity, presence 01:01 Meet Andrew Horn and why "being right" is overrated 03:03 The Burning Man suitcase origin story 04:00 Take your business to the next level with my ⁠VITA™ Coaching Checklist ⁠ 05:31 "I love the sh*t out of you" - friendship, on record 08:07 Bad communication = hyperbolic criticism (why "never/always" backfires) 09:41 Learning to meet fire with skill (Non Violent Communication, ownership, objectivity) 10:56 Gestalt wake-up: three pillars to speak from your spine 13:40 The eye-contact exercise that turned truth into lightning 15:02 Coffee-machine confession: when honesty cracks reality open 16:09 Matrix moment: you don't meet people, you meet your story about them 19:16 Layla's jungle-cult nights and the psychedelic power of saying the uncomfortable thing 25:02 Choosing aliveness over being liked 27:49 Objective > subjective: the foundation of clean communication 31:16 Feelings at work and the "clear ask" example 32:12 Get 2 FREE sticks packs of ⁠MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir⁠ using code PODCAST at checkout  34:02 Curiosity as the antidote to mind-reading 39:46 Byron Katie and "everyone makes sense to themselves" 43:49 Boundaried vs. boundaryless and the sacred pause 47:45 "Violent" (charged) communication vs. objective language 51:10 Needs-based consciousness (OFNER) - a map out of reactivity 52:26 The Five A's of requests: Ask, Acknowledgement, Apology, Action, Agreements 58:24 Why agreements beat "good intentions" every time 1:00:55 Rituals that keep love alive: weekly check-ins & love dates 1:01:12 "Therapy speak" complaints - the pragmatic reframe 1:02:40 Integrity = knowing yourself, speaking the truth, and keeping agreements 1:06:37 Rebuilding integrity after breaches: deconditioning and working with shame *Correction: Nonviolent Communication was developed by Marshall Rosenberg (not Marshall Goldsmith).

Shownotes Take your business to the next level with my ⁠FREE VITA Coaching Checklist⁠ How Shay's childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound How to know if you're in a dead end dynamic in your relationship The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up The importance of loving your parts so they don't hijack you in destructive ways Bio Shay Aiyana is the best-selling author of Becoming the One and the founder of Rising Woman, a global community dedicated to self-healing, relational transformation, and spiritual embodiment. Her work blends somatic awareness, inner child healing, and grounded spiritual insight to guide millions through the landscapes of heartbreak, love, and personal rebirth.  With a writing style that is both poetic and piercingly clear, Shay weaves personal storytelling with practical tools to offer readers a deeply human, emotionally resonant experience. Her words are a balm for those who have been lost in self-abandonment, teaching them how to come home to themselves with compassion and truth.  Having grown up in foster care and overcome cycles of abuse, addiction, and heartbreak, Shay's teachings are not theoretical – they are lived. Through Rising Woman, she has helped millions remember that healing is not about becoming someone else, but about reclaiming the love, power, and wholeness that was always theirs. Learn more about Shay's work on the ⁠Rising Woman website⁠ and follow her on Instagram ⁠@sheleanaaiyana⁠ Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my ⁠FREE VITA Coaching Checklist ⁠ 00:00:59 - Discover the ⁠VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification ⁠ 00:02:29 - Guest introduction 00:04:39 - How Shay's childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships 00:07:30 - Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound 00:09:26 - How raising a child has helped Shay recognize adult attachment behaviors 00:13:01 - There are different levels of the expression of your wounds 00:17:04 - Why attachment and trauma wounds need to heal through relationships 00:21:24 - What is a healthy amount of healing that can be done in a relationship? 00:23:14 - How to know if you're in a dead end dynamic in your relationship 00:27:01 - A conversation that taught Shay she wasn't the partner she thought she was 00:29:31 - What it looks like to let your partner off the hook but still be self-responsible 00:32:14 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of ⁠MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir⁠ using code PODCAST at checkout 00:36:03 - How changing your self-approach to "I've got you little one" shifts everything 00:40:52 - How being honest about your hurt in the moment improves your relationship 00:46:30 - How bringing "death energy" to her husband deepened Shay's marriage 00:49:49 - The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up 00:52:31 - A breakdown of Shay's first book, Becoming the One 00:56:52 - Layla's biggest takeaway from this powerful conversation 01:01:43 - True mastery is loving your parts so they don't hijack you in destructive ways 01:04:40 - 4 pieces of wisdom Shay used to create a better life than she was born into 01:06:38 - Conclusion