Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose 10-year-old son has recently developed an overwhelming fear of being alone, including feeling as though a shadow is following him. I explain why new fears can emerge around this age as children become increasingly able to think, analyze, and anticipate what might happen, and how major life transitions can add another layer of emotional intensity. I also talk about how anxiety can quickly become self-reinforcing, as children begin to fear the fear itself and try to regain control by avoiding situations that suddenly feel unsafe.
I share how parents can support an anxious child without either forcing independence too quickly or becoming completely governed by the fear. Rather than trying to reason a child out of anxiety, I recommend calmly reflecting what they are feeling, offering choices within clear boundaries, and gradually helping them experience that they really can handle these situations. The goal is to provide enough support for the child to feel safe while still communicating confidence in their ability to become independent again.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

This week I'm answering a question from Doby, a mom of four boys, as a follow-up to our recent episode on tattling. She wants to know how to handle tattling when her kids are different ages: should consequences be the same or tailored to each child, and should both kids be held responsible when only one tattles? I walk through both approaches, including how to scale a consequence by age and how to use each child's "currency" so it actually lands.
Doby also tells me about her 7-year-old, who is sensitive, rigid, and anxious and who constantly finds fault with his easygoing 4-year-old brother, tattles, and provokes him into breaking rules. We talk about what birth order may be adding to the picture: an oldest child who has been "dethroned" three times, the pressure that falls on oldest kids, and the natural rivalry between same-sex siblings close in age. Then I give her a practical plan for helping him feel more secure, including why encouragement works better than praise and the exact kinds of "you" statements to use that build a stronger sense of self.
Episode Reference:
Richardson, R. W., & Richardson, L. A. (2000). Birth order & you: Discover how your sex and position in the family affects your personality, career, relationships, and parenting. Self-Counsel Press.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I share an experience from a recent flight that reminded me how easy it is for parents to focus on a child's behavior while missing what the child is actually trying to communicate. I watched a young child become increasingly upset as his attempts to communicate were repeatedly ignored until his behavior escalated. It was a powerful reminder that whining, crying, and tantrums are often not the real problem—they can be the result of a child feeling unheard, misunderstood, or powerless.
I talk about how simple child-centered parenting skills like acknowledging what a child is saying, reflecting their feelings, setting a calm limit, and offering an appropriate choice can completely change these interactions. We can't always give our children what they want, but we can make sure they know their thoughts, feelings, and experiences matter. Sometimes the moments when we are most frustrated with our children are exactly the moments when they most need us to come down to their level and meet them where they are.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose six-year-old can be cooperative one minute and completely defiant the next. I explain why behavior like refusing to get in the car, undoing something positive after being praised, or digging in when asked to do something is often less about "bad behavior" and more about a child's need for power and control. When we understand what is driving the behavior, we can respond differently instead of getting pulled into the power struggle.
I also share how intentional choice giving can help children feel more empowered throughout the day, even when the actual expectation is not negotiable. I walk through what that can look like in a real-life situation like getting into the car, why staying calm and neutral matters, and why encouragement is more helpful than praise when we want children to develop confidence, responsibility, and internal motivation.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose 3- and 5-year-old children are constantly tattling on each other over every little thing. I explain why telling young children to "work it out" usually doesn't work—they simply don't have the developmental capacity yet to reason through sibling conflict on their own. Instead, I share how parents can use clear, consistent choices to help children begin developing self-control and responsibility without turning Mom or Dad into the household referee.
I also talk about the importance of keeping consequences immediate and age-appropriate, especially with very young children, and why the parent's tone matters just as much as the limit itself. The goal is not to punish children for tattling, but to help them learn that their choices have outcomes and that they can begin taking more responsibility for how they handle minor sibling conflicts.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.