Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode:
You often say the cross is the marriage bed. If Jesus took on all suffering there, can embracing our own suffering be a marital act? When we accept daily sufferings—from trauma to small annoyances—does that become, bluntly, a kind of spiritual intercourse? What would that mean practically? I’d love your thoughts.
My husband and I have been married three years and have never climaxed at the same time. I feel frustrated and even scrupulous about it. I’ve heard that simultaneous climax is ideal, but I don’t understand how that’s physically possible. When I’m left unsatisfied after my husband finishes, I worry it’s sinful for him to help me climax afterward. How can we pursue mutual climax without becoming scrupulous or overly technical?
I’m almost 33 and have been with my boyfriend for five years. We’ve grown deeply in faith, and he’s a wonderful Catholic man. I long for marriage and children, but I’m stuck discerning whether he’s the one. I’ve prayed fervently, gone to adoration, and tried to surrender my anxieties to God, yet I feel no clarity. Time feels like it’s running out, and he’s patiently waiting. How do I truly hear God’s voice in such a big decision? 

Resources:
Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTube
Course Schedule
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

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Submit you question here!

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🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
I understand that the only place for a man’s seed is the woman’s garden, but what about during pregnancy? Since it’s not possible for the couple to conceive another child, I’m not sure if or why it would matter.
I’ve always had a special devotion to Jesus in the Eucharist and knew from a young age that it is truly His body, blood, soul, and divinity. I receive Him with great joy, awe, and delight, but sometimes after Communion I feel an ache in my heart for an earthly spouse. By God’s grace, I’ve remained chaste for 38 years and would joyfully give my virginity to my future spouse if God wills marriage. Why might this desire arise after receiving the Eucharist?
My fiancé and I were taking one of our pre-Cana classes together when the topic of sexual intimacy in the past came up. I asked if he had ever had sex, assuming that because we’re both Catholic, we had both saved ourselves for marriage. He told me he had sex with several women in his past, deeply regrets it, and is now re-waiting for marriage with me. This broke my heart, and I’m still healing. How can I regain trust and heal from this?

Resources:
⁠Event Schedule⁠
⁠Good News About Sex & Marriage⁠

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠⁠

---

⁠Submit you question here!⁠

---

🎟️ ⁠Event Schedule⁠

📚 ⁠⁠⁠Course Schedule⁠

🏔️ ⁠Pilgrimages⁠

🧠 ⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
A man in his 50s had a vasectomy years ago and, after a conversion, is now discerning marriage with a Catholic woman of childbearing age. Must he attempt a reversal for the marriage to be valid? If it’s possible and not life-threatening, should he try to restore his generative power? If it fails and he remains sterile, that wouldn’t invalidate the marriage if she knows. But if he refuses to consider reversal, is he excluding the procreative meaning of marriage? Can fear of risks justify not attempting it?
The Catholic Church teaches that Mary was a perpetual virgin. The Church also teaches that a man and woman are not truly married until the marriage has been consummated. So how can we call Joseph the spouse of Mary if their marriage wasn’t consummated, and why is it important that Mary remains a virgin?
My roommate, who is Catholic, just told me she’s moving because she’s dating a woman. I had no idea she’s been experiencing same-sex attraction for years. She said she’s talked with the Lord and doesn’t feel He’s telling her this is wrong. She’s not looking for guidance in resisting it or open to correction. How do I love and support her without compromising my beliefs? She asked me not to tell anyone, but I feel very alone and troubled. Will she keep going to Mass? Would she receive the Eucharist? Why does she feel such a deep connection and love with this woman?

Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
Course Schedule
Vasectomy Reversals

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
How do you put into words what a soul is, especially when explaining it to a child in light of theology of the body—that our bodies and souls are both important and are meant to be together in heaven one day?
I struggle with premature ejaculation and, despite years of sincere effort in marriage, haven’t found a real solution. I want to be a true gift to my wife, but this makes it hard for her to reach climax and leaves me ashamed, even though she’s loving and supportive. Most advice is secular and recommends “edging,” which feels morally wrong. I’m stuck between wanting help and staying faithful to Church teaching. Are there faithful resources or approaches you’d recommend?
I’m a sophomore who recently ended my first relationship with a Catholic convert I met at the Newman Center. After two painful months, he broke up with me, taking the blame and telling me to pray. Since then, daily Mass and prayer have changed my heart. I realize I made him an idol and have surrendered this to God. I feel called to apologize and try again, but he asked for time. Should I move on or risk rejection and seek his forgiveness?

Resources:

Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTube
Word Made Fresh Podcast on Spotify
Video: What It Means to Love God With "All Your Soul"

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
I am a single man in my twenties and have committed to reserving sex for marriage. People often try to dissuade me by bringing up “sexual compatibility,” telling stories of couples who waited and later divorced because they weren’t compatible in the marriage bed. I struggle to respond since I can’t speak from experience about what sexual compatibility or good sex really means. My gut tells me there’s something selfish in this reasoning, yet every married couple hopes sexual intimacy will be wonderful for both spouses. So what is sexual compatibility, and is it really possible for a man and woman to be sexually incompatible?
I am a young woman with a fantastic boyfriend. When we kiss, it usually lasts for only a second, but I’ve found myself wanting a kiss from him that is longer and more intimate. I also have this desire when it comes to being held by him or cuddling. Thankfully, we both love theology of the body and desire to grow in chastity in our relationship, but I’m not sure how prudent these desires are because I don’t want to use him for physical pleasure. Is it okay for me to want these things from him even though we aren’t married? Can they be done in a chaste way? Having had unchaste experiences with men I’ve dated in the past makes me feel as though I’d be tainting my current relationship by doing these things, and the feelings that arise feel more like lust and crossing a boundary.
I recently came across your work and have been listening to your podcasts and interviews incessantly. It is truly life-changing material. You’ve referenced a few times a retreat where a priest asked you to perform various exercises to help stir up your desires so that you could really learn how to pray. What were those exercises? I haven’t been able to find them through all the listening I’ve been doing.

Resources:
Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTube
Word Made Fresh Podcast on Spotify
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠