When Your Child Rejects Faith, Navigating NFP Fears, and Learning to Trust Men After Abuse | ACW326
Questions answered this episode:
Questions answered this episode:
My eldest son is nearly 20, and he told us 2 years ago that he doesn't believe in God, which was incredibly heartbreaking for my husband and me. He is, however, respectful of our faith. He has a girlfriend, and they have been dating for about 4 months. She's just moved to another state to study at a university, which is about 4 hours from where we live. He's looking forward to visiting her in the next few weeks. He's planning on staying with her when he visits, which seems to him like a completely practical thing to do. How do I broach the topic of chastity and avoidance of sin with someone who doesn't claim to believe in God? I want to find a way to speak truth to him, even if it only plants a seed for the future. Any ideas or wisdom from your experience as parents and years of ministry would be greatly appreciated.
My wife and I are in our mid-40s. We have 4 kids ages 17 to 11. We also have 2 in heaven from a miscarriage and a premature birth. The 11-year-old was our last pregnancy. We've used NFP ever since to avoid pregnancy, but it has been challenging for our relationship with just a few days per month that we feel safe to have sex. All these years, I've been honoring my wife's reluctance and fear of another pregnancy, but I never realized my own until today. We're left to believe it is our responsibility to avoid getting pregnant because God will give us more kids whether he should or not if we give him the opportunity to. I think he's reckless about giving out children and doesn't consider the toll it could take on us. I'm not proud of this confession, and I doubt it is a good way to think of NFP. I guess I'm asking for help to see things more clearly. I should add that my wife has had hard pregnancies and deliveries, and having this 11-year gap only heightens our fears about another pregnancy. But it is not like doctors ever told us we should avoid getting pregnant or risk serious health consequences. We've just been afraid to keep going through the hardships that come with new life. We can keep up the cautious NFP approach, but it feels a lot like we're not trusting God and we're holding back from each other. I don't know the right way to think about this, and it has been a long time of uncertainty.
I am a 29-year-old single woman, and I come from a family with a history of sexual abuse. Some of my siblings were sexually abused by my dad. I was also sexually abused, though it was by one of my brothers when we were younger. My brother is sorry for having done this and has sought reconciliation with both me and the church, and I have forgiven him. Growing up, my mom always said that a man and a woman should never be alone together if they're not married because, quote, something could happen. I realize this might be a prudent way to live, and with everything that has happened in my family, I can understand why my mom says this. However, because of all these things, I find myself having a hard time trusting men or knowing how to relate with them without being, I think, overly cautious. Most of the friendships I have with men tend to stay at the surface level because I don't know how to open myself to them. I really want to be able to have deep relationships with men, but I also don't know how deep is too deep. Do you have any advice on how I can learn to trust men and to open myself up to having deep, intimate friendships with them? How do I know if I'm crossing over into a place of going too deep, and would it be best to wait to date a man until I've learned to not have these thoughts of what he might do constantly at the back of my mind?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
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