Sexology

Welcome to Episode 479 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Zach Brittle who speaks to me about negative sentiment override and how relationship dynamics shape our erotic connection.
 
In this episode, Zach and I discuss how the emotional tone of a relationship deeply influences intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. We look at the concept of Negative Sentiment Override, a term from John Gottman’s research, and discuss how couples can find themselves stuck in patterns where even neutral moments feel charged with criticism or defensiveness. 

Zach has been teaching, coaching, mentoring and counseling couples for nearly 20 years. He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in Washington and a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) and Relational Life Therapist. He is the host of Marriage Therapy Radio and the author of the best selling relationship guide The Relationship Alphabet and the Marriage Therapy Journal. His writings and insights have also been featured in Vanity Fair, Men’s Health, Real Simple, The New York Times and the Washington Post. Zach has been happily married to his wife Rebecca for 25 of 28 years. They live in Seattle with their two adulting daughters.
 
In this episode, you will hear:
 
·      Understanding Negative Sentiment Override
·      Positive Versus Negative Emotional Filters
·      The Pasta Example And Neutral Events
·      Emotional Safety And Sexual Vulnerability
·      Gender Socialization And Desire Patterns
·      Slowing Down Between Impulse And Response
·      Taking Responsibility In Relationship Conflict
·      Contempt And The Illusion Of Superiority
·      Redefining What Sex Is For
·      Scheduling Erotic Play And Expanding Intimacy
 
Work With Dr. Nazanin Moali
 
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Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions

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Welcome to Episode 478 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by EJ and Tarah Kerwin who speak to me about sex and parenting, how becoming parents reshaped their intimacy, desire, and how they maintain their emotional connection to each other.
 
In this episode, EJ and Tarah speak to me about what it was like to go from a playful, spontaneous sex life to feeling completely overwhelmed after the birth of their twins; navigating sleep deprivation, and the resurfacing of past trauma. They also talk openly about the grief that can accompany shifts in identity, libido, and partnership, and how isolating that transition can feel when couples are not talking about it.
 
EJ and Tarah Kerwin are the founders of Relationship Renovation and hosts of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, where they share raw honesty, humor, and decades of combined experience as relationship coaches to help couples deepen intimacy, build emotional safety, and navigate the complexities of long-term partnership.
 
Known for their vulnerability and willingness to share their own relationship challenges, EJ and Tarah offer practical tools, research-backed insights, and real-life stories that resonate with couples around the world.
 
In this episode, you will hear:
 
·      The Impact Of Parenting On Sexual Desire
·      Navigating Postpartum And Identity Shifts
·      Grief Around Changing Intimacy
·      Higher And Lower Desire Dynamics
·      Emotional Safety In Long Term Relationships
·      Pressure Windows And Sexual Expectations
·      Rebuilding Intimacy Through Communication
·      Processing Trauma Within Partnership
·      Non Sexual Affection And Erotic Connection
·      Creating Systems To Prioritize Your Relationship
 
FREE Foreplay Checklist Ideas

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Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions

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Welcome to episode 477 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Laurie Gerber, who speaks to me about how to communicate about sex, sexual preferences, and talking about difficult topics like STIs with more confidence and clarity.
 
In this episode, Laurie and I discuss why silence is one of the biggest obstacles to fulfilling sexual and romantic relationships. Laurie shares powerful insights from her work with clients, especially around why sex is a key differentiator between friendship and romantic partnership, and why ongoing conversations matter more than crisis-driven ones.
 
Laurie Gerber is the creator of Master the Art of Love, an online digital course for women over 50 who are ready to date like they mean it. She’s the host of the podcast “Love at Any Age,” through which she coaches the audience, based on the wholehearted belief that everyone deserves healthy, lasting love, and it’s never too late.
 
For over 20 years, first as President of the Life Coaching division at Handel Group® and then as founder of Laurie Gerber Coaching Inc. she has been life and love coaching thousands of individuals and couples. Laurie is currently licensing The Handel Method® and uses it in her online and one-on-one coaching to help people achieve their dreams, with a focus on love.

In this episode, you will hear:
 
·      Why Silence Is The Biggest Mistake
·      Sex As A Learnable Skill
·      Making Sex An Ongoing Conversation
·      Choosing The Right Time And Setting
·      Asking Permission To Talk About Sex
·      Practical Hacks To Start Conversations
·      Navigating STI Disclosure With Confidence
·      Setting Sexual Boundaries Early
·      Desire Mismatches And Rejection
·      Rituals, Scheduling, And Prioritizing Sex
 
Get The How To Be The Man She Desires Guide HERE
 
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Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions

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Welcome to Episode 476 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Ally Iseman, who speaks to me about desire discrepancy, long-term intimacy, and how travel can become a powerful doorway back to erotic connection.
 
In this episode, Ally and I discuss one of the most common struggles couples bring into therapy: loving their partner while feeling disconnected from sex and intimacy. We talk about why desire naturally shifts over time, how novelty + security can feel like they are pulling in opposite directions, and why sexless periods are often symptoms rather than the core issue. 

Ally Iseman is a non-monogamy educator, erotic lifestyle consultant, and ICF-certified relationship coach who has spent over a decade helping individuals, couples, and moresomes create authentic, fulfilling relationships on their own terms. As the founder of Passport 2 Pleasure, an inclusive relationship education platform, Ally champions open communication and conscious connection within sex-positive and non-traditional relationship dynamics.

In this episode, you will hear:
 
·      Understanding Desire Discrepancy
·      Why Novelty Fuels Erotic Energy
·      Sexless Relationships As A Symptom
·      Reframing Masturbation And Shame
·      Travel As Foreplay For Connection
·      Escape Versus Exploration In Trips
·      Sensuality Beyond Sexual Acts
·      Creating Mystery Through Planning
·      Managing Expectations And Pressure
·      Curiosity As A Relationship Skill

Passport2Pleasure: Use our link HERE to save $100 on the course “ENM 101: Open Up Without Breaking Up”
 
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Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions

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Welcome to Episode 475 of the Sexology Podcast! Today, I am excited to be joined by Caitlin V, who speaks to me about erectile unpredictability, performance anxiety, and supporting men’s sexuality through a holistic, shame-free lens.

 A quick note for my single listeners in California, if you're craving intentional, psychologically grounded ways to meet people. We have a beautiful offering coming up through LALOVELAB.com; a company I co-created with my colleague Dr. Richard Espinoza. Our next matchmaking event is Saturday February 7th at 4:00pmhosted at the Craft Contemporary Museum in LA. It's thoughtfully curated experience designed by us to help you connect with intention, not apps.
 
In this episode, Caitlyn and I discuss how many men are struggling with sexual performance earlier in life and why this is not a personal failure or a flaw. We also talk about how cultural expectations, lack of accurate sex education, and constant exposure to unrealistic sexual imagery can shape anxiety around erections, desire, and confidence. 
 
Caitlin V is one of today’s leading voices in modern sexuality and the host of the HBO Max series Good Sex. A researcher and coach with a background in public health, she has empowered millions to transform their sex lives through her coaching, courses, and viral online content. Her evidence-based, shame-free approach bridges clinical research with real-world intimacy, showing how better sex can make us better humans. Featured in O Magazine, GQ, Variety, and more, Caitlin champions a vision of sexuality that makes us not only better lovers--but more compassionate humans.

In this episode, you will hear:
 
·      Understanding Erectile Unpredictability
·      Performance Anxiety And Its Root Causes
·      Porn, Arousal, And Unrealistic Expectations
·      Treating Men’s Sexuality Holistically
·      Breaking Shame And Silence Around Sex
·      Talking To A Partner With Confidence
·      Rebuilding Erotic Connection As A Couple
·      Reducing Pressure And Outcome Focus
·      Sex Toys And Supportive Tools For Men
·      Practical Exercises For Emotional Intimacy

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Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions

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