Connected Parenting

“I need it. No, I really need it.”

Whether it’s a toy, a treat, or something trending, many parents have that moment of thinking, that’s definitely not a need.

But beneath the meltdowns and intensity is something deeper.

This isn’t just about kids being dramatic, it’s about brain development, emotional regulation, and learning to handle discomfort.

In this episode, Jennifer explains why children genuinely feel like they need what they want, and how their developing brains make it hard to tell the difference.

She explores how impulse control, dopamine, and emotional intensity all play a role and how parents can respond with both empathy and clear boundaries.

Because while it’s important to hold the limit, it’s just as important to acknowledge the feeling behind it.

For a child, in that moment… it really does feel like a need.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

Understanding Needs vs. Wants in Parenting (00:00)
The Role of Parents as Substitute Frontal Lobes (02:19)
Pleasure vs. Happiness and the Novelty Trap (04:45)
Modeling Delayed Gratification and Practical Tools (08:24)
Gratitude Reflection and Emotional Maturity (12:23)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Why is it that children seem calm, cooperative, and well-behaved with teachers, relatives, babysitters, or even the other parent but when they get home to mom, everything unravels?

This is not necessarily a sign that something is going wrong.
In many cases, it’s actually a sign that something is going right.

Children often release their biggest emotions with the person they feel safest and most connected to.

This episode explores why this dynamic happens so often with moms, how nervous systems and attachment play a role, and how parents can understand these moments differently.

Parenting requires an incredible amount of emotional labor, and this episode offers both reassurance and perspective for parents who feel like they’re carrying the heaviest part of their child’s emotional world.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

Understanding Why Children React Differently to Moms (00:00)
The Role of Nervous Systems in Parenting (02:41)
Challenges Moms Face in Parenting (04:36)
Strategies for Moms to Cope (07:58)
Encouraging Joy and Healthy Connections (11:20)
Balancing Emotional Load and Self-Care (15:12)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

This episode is one of the most difficult Jennifer has ever recorded.

Like many parents, she is feeling the weight of the news cycle and the stories involving children that can shake our sense of safety and stability. When events like this appear in the headlines, it can leave parents asking the same painful questions:

How do I talk to my child about this?
What if they’ve already heard about it?
How do I keep them informed without frightening them?

This episode is not about fear, sensationalizing tragedy, or overwhelming children with information. Instead, Jennifer focuses on practical ways parents can support their children emotionally when disturbing news enters their world.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

Overview of the Connected Parents Project (01:07)
Challenges of Modern Dating for Parents (03:42)
Navigating Relationship Stages and Labels (06:33)
Building Connection and Trust in Parenting (16:03)
Addressing Digital Influences and Technology (30:34)
Teaching Relationship Skills to Children (30:46)
Balancing Privacy and Secrecy in Parenting (46:00)
Supporting Boys and Healthy Masculinity (47:07)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Dating can bring up a very specific kind of parent anxiety, especially when you add in social media, texting, AI, and changing relationship norms that look nothing like what many of us grew up with.

In this guest episode, I sit down with Lianne Lee and Sarah Winstanley from the ConnectED Parents Project (powered by SHIFT: The Project to End Domestic Violence at the University of Calgary) for a grounded, non–fear-based conversation on how to prepare kids for healthy relationships long before dating begins.

Instead of “lock it down” parenting, this episode focuses on building skills early, strengthening connection, and helping kids develop an internal compass for what feels safe, respectful, and aligned.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

Overview of the Connected Parents Project (01:07)
Challenges of Modern Dating for Parents (03:42)
Navigating Relationship Stages and Labels (06:33)
Building Connection and Trust in Parenting (16:03)
Addressing Digital Influences and Technology (30:34)
Teaching Relationship Skills to Children (30:46)
Balancing Privacy and Secrecy in Parenting (46:00)
Supporting Boys and Healthy Masculinity (47:07)

Learn more:

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Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

As parents, we often believe that authority comes from volume, big consequences, or control but true leadership is rooted in regulation.

When we escalate, our children’s brains register danger and shut down learning and empathy. When we stay steady, we teach them how to manage big emotions, tolerate distress, and repair after conflict.

This episode is not about being perfect. It’s about awareness, self-compassion, and repair. I share why children borrow our nervous systems, how to notice your own triggers, and simple strategies to regulate yourself in heated moments from breathing and softening your tone to repairing when you miss the mark.

Calm is not weakness. It’s containment. It’s love. And every time you choose steadiness over escalation, you’re shaping your child’s nervous system for life.

Jennifer's Takeaways:

The Strength in Calm: Introduction to Connected Parenting (00:00)
The Importance of Self-Regulation and Loving Leadership (01:00)
The Impact of Parental Emotional State on Children (02:44)
Self-Compassion and Repairing Dysregulation (04:46)
Strategies for Staying Calm and Modeling Regulation (06:25)
The Long-Term Benefits of Calm Parenting (09:35)

Meet Jennifer Kolari

Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.

Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.

Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.

Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.

One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).