The Harry Hill Show

In the final episode before our summer break, we're joined by Bob Mortimer's co-host, comedy royalty, Paul Whitehouse.
Paul who gets sniffed, interrogated, and thoroughly background-checked by a passive-aggressive AI bot with opinions about Rick Stein—alongside Bat Conservation Trust director Joe Nuñez-Miño for an hour of sketch-show mega-nostalgia, dodgy fishing anecdotes, and enough vampire bat trivia to ruin Halloween forever.
If you've ever wanted to hear a bat expert calmly explain that echolocation is actually a bat's expensive last resort behind perfectly good eyesight, or witness Harry's own AI son get tased with a homemade "Swiss Army taser" made from a nine-volt battery before the theme tune's even finished, listen up.
00:01 – Steve Bartlett's Diary of a CEO02:47 – Licky Learns the Hard Way What a Taser Tastes Like03:08 – Welcoming Paul Whitehouse
04:06 – Retirement Pods, Coffins, and the Case for Downsizing Into the Garden
06:04 – A Solemn Tribute to Ted, the Gone Fishing Dog Who Never Cared About Anyone
07:43 – A Heron Impression Decades in the Making, Featuring Isaac Walton
09:08 – Salmon Spearing, Feargal Sharkey, and a Rare Moment of Actual Politics
10:11 – Sarah the AI Bot
11:34 – Harry's Boyhood Fishing Career: Zero Fish, Infinite Trauma
12:22 – Sarah Reveals Paul's Dad Worked for the Coal Board and His Mum Sang Opera, Somehow Producing Paul
13:11 – Les Dennis Gets Decked by Bob Mortimer in a White-Collar Boxing Ring
14:22 – Paul's Mum Left School at Fourteen, Which Somehow Leads to a Welsh Choir Tangent
15:19 – Paul's Mum's Voice Turns Up on a Gone Fishing Recording and Everyone Loses It Slightly
16:33 – Harry Enfield Plays Harry Hill With a Bald Cap and Weaponised Tear Ducts
18:36 – Peter Fincham's Terrible Beatles-and-Stones Covers Band Staring Down Gary Barlow
20:19 – Sarah Digs Up a Punk Band Called The Right Hand Lovers
21:26 – Paul Firmly Denies Ever Squatting, Actually Worked for Enfield Council
22:34 – Five Years as a Plasterer, Which He Genuinely Enjoyed
23:44 – Paul Goes Mute for Five Weeks at School, Returns Speaking Full Mockney
24:59 – Sarah Wraps Up With The Fast Show, Gone Fishing, and Playing Argus Filch
28:39 – Turning Down a Twix on Account of Type 2 Diabetes
29:45 – Defending The Fast Show's Famously Rubbish Title
30:18 – A Clause 28 Joke Delivered Entirely in Character as Loadsamoney
31:19 – Pitching Cartoons to the BBC and Mourning the Death of Sketch Comedy
32:51 – Johnny Vegas Texts Paul About a Whiskey Galore Remake and a Sketch Called Heroin Galore
33:39 – Why Broadcasters Will Fund Any Drama But Basically No Sketch Show
34:44 – A Fake Telethon Called Charity Innovatathon Featuring Trevor McDonald and a Liz Truss Coin Collection
37:40 – Theme of the Week: Bats, With Actual Expert Joe Nunes-Mino
39:04 – What Is a Bat, Actually? 1,500 Species and Counting
39:43 – The UK Has 18 Bat Species, One of Which Is Just Three Individuals Who Might Not Even Live Here
40:32 – Dracula Jokes, and a Firm Reminder That Spiders Are Not Insects
42:18 – Bat Sex Explained: Stored Sperm All Winter, Then an October Decision
43:08 – Maternity Roosts Operate a Strict No-Males Policy
44:02 – Horseshoe Bats Give Birth Upside Down and Catch the Baby Themselves
44:40 – Bats Apparently Need Flying Lessons Too, Courtesy of the UK's Bat Carer Network
45:51 – Myth Busted: Bats Can See Perfectly Well and Echolocation Is Just Expensive Shouting
47:54 – No, Bats Do Not Make Good Pets, Cue the Inevitable Vampire Bat Questions
48:19 – Vampire Bats Snack on Cattle Hooves and, Apparently, Sea Lions
49:14 – Some Bats Live to 41, Which Is Longer Than Most Marriages on This Podcast
50:24 – All UK Bats Are Protected By Law, So Please Stop Trying to Eat Them
52:14 – The National Bat Helpline 54:48 – Gary's Joke Corner
57:00 – Butterfly in Blue Jeans

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In this week’s episode of the Podscarf, we welcome legendary music producer Rick Rubin—who accidentally ruins our viewer retention stats before getting violently dragged off set—alongside Radio 1 DJ Melvin Odoom and Southwark Borough Fire Commander Daniel Capon for an hour of pure, unadulterated legacy media chat and safety protocols. If you've ever wanted to hear a group commander explain why you should never, under any circumstances, throw a bucket of water on a kitchen oil fire, or witness an adult man explain a legendary schoolyard Desmond’s impression that culminates in a smelly finger, listen up. -00:04 – Rick Rubin's Creative Process01:37 – Analyzing the Podscarf Stats: The Sudden Rick Rubin Retraction Dip02:27 – The Irish vs. Ghanaian Apostrophe Scandal with Melvin Odoom02:49 – Radio 1 Live Lounge Lore: Chilling out with an Enigmatic Harry Styles03:54 – Cantaloupe Melon Sugar: Harry Admits He Is Way Too Old for Current Music04:44 – Licky the Mascot Debuts an Elaborate Swiss Army Taser Dance05:58 – Selling Nine-Volt Batteries and Homemade Shock Equipment for £2006:31 – Misidentifying Greg Wallace and Stalking the Aisles of Home Bargains07:27 – Buying Eight-Foot Teddy Bears and Massive Boxes of Chewing Gum08:03 – CDJs vs. Vinyl: Embracing the Technical Demise of Creative Revenue09:29 – Sarah the AI Bot Offers a Fork Bump and Wants to Kiss Your FM10:10 – Biographies of North London: From Cricklewood to Seven Sisters11:06 – Minoring in Apple Trees: Learning How to Plan Content at Bedfordshire11:56 – A-Level Acting Failures, Clearing, and Stanning Trevor Nelson12:29 – Harry’s Trendy Habits as a Six Music Dad Who Secretly Listens to Gold13:15 – Student Radio Origin Stories and Trading Drama Classes for BBC Toast13:53 – Fired From Capital Radio: The Demise of the 2004 Playlist14:37 – Looking Out at the Aberdeen Museum of Steak while Evanescence Plays15:24 – Welcome to Funch: The 18-to-24 Female Focus Group Disaster16:49 – Chatting Rubbish vs. Real Work: Melvin’s Mum the Dementia Care Worker17:36 – Demanding Jollof Rice and Chicken 18:00 – Sarah Breaks Down the 2009 Kiss Breakfast Sony Radio Silver Award18:48 – Dick and Dom Bungalow Memories and Bleeding Love on a Miniature Guitar19:57 – The Nose-Flute Solo Experiment22:02 – Steve Wright’s The Slammer and Getting Your Foot on the Rung via Free Toast23:03 – Strictly Christmas Revenge and Scored Minuses on House of Games24:16 – Celebrity Take Me Out Lift Entrances and a Fake Date at a Holborn Bowling Alley25:27 – E4’s My Hotter Half: Using Mood Lighting to Make Over Ugly Couples26:12 – Naked Attraction Musings: Releasing Inhibitions and Boosting Ratings27:42 – SUV Entrances on Traitors and Marvin Humes’ Jungle Eating Warnings29:32 – GK Barry Pulls Out of the Show to Go to the Brit Awards30:18 – Gifting a Best Single Brit Award to an Incredibly Beautiful James Blunt31:12 – Rick Rubin's Hamburg Cutlery Shop Memory: Paul McCartney’s Missing Spoons32:00 – Making a Clack-Clack Sound on Cherry Bakewell with German Forks33:07 – Firefighting: Welcoming Daniel Capon (The D-Man) from Southwark33:38 – Surviving the 24-Hour Operational Officer Shift Patterns34:06 – Dispelling Misconceptions: 20,000 Fires vs. 56,000 Special Services34:38 – The Ultimate London Fire Brigade Statistic: Exactly Five Cats Rescued from Trees35:27 – Dripping Radiators and Calling 999 Because the Gardener Smashed a Window36:58 – Modern Prevention Safety: Utilizing Free Station Community Rooms38:39 – The Nature of Big Red Toolboxes and Fixing Things by Default39:22 – Cooking Left Unattended: The Demise of the 1970s Damp Tea Towel Protocol40:48 – Sixty-Second Station Mobilization and the Speed Efficiency of the Fire Pole41:08 – Harry’s 1976 Maidstone Scout Firefighter Badge Strike Trauma42:31 – Lithium-Ion Charge Safe Campaigns: The E-Bike Battery Threat43:22 – Containing Black Smoke Inhalation by Keeping Property Doors Firmly Closed44:39 – The Unsung Heroes of the LFB Control Room Network47:05 – Heartwarming and Heartbreaking Families: Working a 30-Year Career48:34 – Online Home Fire Safety Checkers for Vulnerable London Residents50:14 – GAME TIME: "What is the Velcro Singing?!"51:36 – Mistaking Leona Lewis for Little Mix Black Magic and Only Fools and Horses53:22 – Gary’s Joke Corner (Melvin’s Historic Desmond’s Impression)55:19 – Old African Sayings: Itchy Bums, Smelly Fingers, and Schoolyard Training55:34 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans"Melvin Odoom" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Melvin Odoom. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.

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In this week’s episode of the Podscarf we welcome English stand-up comedian Angela Barnes and Tudor historian Adam Pennington to the studio for an hour of pure, unadulterated high-street nostalgia and medieval gore.Angela reveals how she used to operate as a suitcase-wielding, bootleg DVD library out of her dad's Great Yarmouth sex shop, and find out why the internal gases of King Henry VIII caused him to literally pop inside his own coffin.---00:00 – Gary's Basement Eggs and the Over-Tight Costume Crisis00:19 – Formulating a £30 "Corned Beef Spam Nut" Kit for Nostalgic Pensioners03:30 – Licky the Mascot Gives an Extravagant Face-Licking to a Married Woman05:11 – Turning 50: The 1970s Nuclear Survival Kit Tobacco Tin Lore06:39 – Waking Up to the Casualty Theme Tune 08:12 – Phoning in the "Angst" Tour and Saving a Life with The Archers09:51 – Podcasting for "Young" Pensioners and Failing to Sing Like Jeremy Hardy10:33 – Outsourcing Our Brains to Siri until We Become Sofa Blobs11:43 – Sarah the AI Bot Summons the Medway Posse and Bigs up Chatham13:20 – The Maidstone Anthem: Sex Shops, Golden Boots, and Prison Walls14:40 – High Street Slander15:22 – Checkers Model Shops and the Measurement Machines of the Golden Boot16:28 – The Stoned Anagram and Wes Anderson's Secret Mansion in Basted17:46 – The Caravan-Enthusiast, Naturist, Swinger Sex Shop Dad18:20 – Sharing the Pre-Streaming Suitcase Bootlegs Like the Original Pornhub19:22 – Amateur Dramatics as the Comic Fat Girl and Sudden Bereavement at 6020:21 – Emceeing Jack Skipper’s First Ever Jill Edwards Comedy Showcase21:13 – The Five-Day House of Games Sweep and Facing Social Media Trolls23:08– ADHD Hyperactivity and the Sussex University Synesthesia Study26:41 – The 19-Year-Old Brain Connection Realization and 10 Minutes of Stand-Up Material27:35 – Ad Break: Regency Foods Present Princess Anne Molds and complimentary Cremation29:19 – Adam Pennington Explains the Desperate Male Heir Mania of the Tudors30:39 – Holbein Portraits, Breaking the Papacy, and Banishing Catholics From Succession31:41 – A 400-Pound King Whose Gammy Leg Smelt From Three Rooms Away32:08 – Jude Law Spraying Feces, Pus, and Blood Perfume All Over the Firebrand Set32:48 – Illegitimate Lancastrians, Princes in the Tower, and the Game of Thrones War34:30 – Tenuous Bloodlines: How 78% of Britons Are Descended From William the Conqueror35:22 – Royal Imposter Syndrome and Beheading the Remaining Plantagenets36:19 – Whispering Chromosome Irony Into the Beheaded Ear of Anne Boleyn's Legacy38:00 – Fastidious Manners, Six-Foot-Three Strapping Youth, and Monastic Dissolution39:33 – Hiring a Sword Executioner Before Anne Boleyn Even Went to Trial40:27 – Heavy Petting in the Mid-50s: Catherine Howard and Jane Boleyn's Shared Fate41:25 – Knighting a Sirloin Steak and Hanging Out at Hever Castle42:26 – Ulcerated Leg Pain and Popping Open via Internal Coffin Gases44:08– Sarcophagus Re-Gifting and the 11-Strike Axe Horror of Margaret Pole45:10– QUIZZITY QUIZ: 53:08 – Gary’s Joke Corner54:57 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans"Angela Barnes" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Angela Barnes. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.

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TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IF OFF! We're back. This week, Harry is joined by comedian, television presenter, and incredibly good-looking man Joel Dommett! Harry relives the claustrophobic nightmare of performing inside a giant furry suit on The Masked Singer (which he only did because Joel told him it would be "fun" ), and explains how he almost had a heart attack dressed as a Red Panda. Meanwhile, Joel reminisces about his teenage nu-metal band and the importance of a silent p.Friend of the Vodscarf, Professor Chris Lintott drops by to explain why Venus is an acidic holiday hellhole.00:09 - Giant Eggs in the Basement 01:15 - Behind the Scenes of The Masked Singer with Red Panda02:58 - Harry’s Secret Vocal Coaching & Professional Singing Defenses04:10 - The Ridiculous Secrecy: Hoodies, Visors, and Secret Cars05:06 - The Great Sloth Pronunciation Debate06:10 - Sixty-One and Dressed as a Red Panda: Harry’s Near-Death Experience07:50 - Human Chemistry vs. Thirsty AI Bots09:00 - Sarah the AI Bot Welcomes09:10 - The Last Days of Rome: Joel and Harry Dissect the National TV Awards10:04 - Trevor McDonald: The Comedy Killer12:37 - Angela Barnes Thinks Joel Is Too Good-Looking for Comedy13:58 - Joel's Nu-Metal Days14:48 - Crowd-Surfing at Your Own Funeral16:48 - The True Cost of Australia: Extra Camp Logistics17:28 - Joel’s Bristolian Acting Masterclass: Crashing Cars in Casualty18:36 - Former Doctor Harry Hill Wants a Guest Spot on Holby City19:34 - Tea, Biscuits, and Private Hospital Pillow Requests20:34 - Harry’s Mum Gets Knocked Down Dressed as a Keyboard22:36 - Regency Television Presents: Trevor McDonald Live From the Albert Hall24:33 - Theme of the Week: Venus (with Professor Chris Lintott)25:48 - Why Venus Is the Absolute Worst Vacation Spot in the Solar System27:19 - Lazy Astronomy: Stargazing From the Middle of London27:52 - Active Volcanoes and Being Bored on a Zoom Meeting28:48 - Sulfuric Acid, Flying Penguins, and the Runaway Greenhouse Effect31:14 - Venus: The Solar System's Monthly Service Station33:02 - The Planet of Love: Mythological Names and Diseases34:32 - The French Balloon Plan & Melted Russian Probes36:09 - Harry’s Dark Baby Joke That Never Lands37:35 - The Grand Finale: Celebrity Name the Seed!40:25 - The High-Stakes Guess: Britney Spears on a Chair vs. Joel’s Wife43:27 - Gary’s Joke Corner45:11 - Butterfly in Blue Jeans"Joel Dommett" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Joel Dommett. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0."

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In this week’s episode of the Podscarf we welcome Welsh comedic force Kiri Pritchard-McLean (who was spotted on a train trying to ignore Harry by aggressively speaking Welsh ) and University of Kent Music Hall expert Oliver Double to the studio for an hour of pure, unadulterated historical bawdiness and skincare science.Things get incredibly weird, incredibly fast. Watch as Kiri tries to navigate an absolute safeguarding nightmare involving Harry's fictional heir, Gary, and his filthy collar , witness Harry deliver his highly detailed skincare routine and we see the return of the ANDY BURNHAM.---00:00 – The Danbury Mint x Christian Labuta Flamboyant Shoe Collab 01:09 – The Cardiff-Glasgow Train Stalking Incident 02:59 – Fostering, Permaculture, and the "Angle Grinder" Dating App 04:20 – Licky the Mascot gets way too close to Kiri’s hair 05:49 – Chilling Deep Relationships with Chat GPT Therapists 07:09 – The Andy Burnham Dance 08:39 – Sarah the AI Bot offends the entire nation of Wales 09:32 – Dark History: The English Academics and the Block of Wood 10:22 – Sarah’s Biographical Slander: "Gloucester Born?!" 11:28 – The Vagaries of Animal Welfare Charities and Indoor Toilets 13:55 – Fart-powered Permaculture and Burning Your Own Effluent 15:23 – Harry’s Hyper-Intense 12-Step Korean Skincare Regime 16:38 – The Musty Flannel Incident ("Stop it mum, I can't breathe!") 17:09 – A Plant-Based Crisis: Sarah hands a Vegan a Twix bar 18:20 – Caroline Aherne being naughty in a cab22:20 – Theme Of The Week: Music Hall 26:40 – Charles Morton’s Canterbury Trick and the Shape of the Hackney Empire 27:57 – The Dignitas Reunion Dinner Incident (A Dignitary falls off the stage) 31:23 – Little Titch: Six-fingered Mittens and Big Boot Dancing 33:10 – Royal Variety Scandal: Queen Mary hides from a woman in trousers 34:29 – Sweating on stage with the Spice Girls and Jim Davidson in 1997 35:54 – Fanning Dad with a Kipper: The DNA of Early Stand-up Comedy 38:20 – Mechanical Funnels and the Financial Collapse of Wet Money 41:04 – The Glasgow Empire: Graveyard of English Comics and Fake Fainting 44:22 – John Major's Dad and the Great Music Hall War of 1907 46:04 – Joan Rhodes: Bending Steel, Tearing Phone Books, and Dominating at Scrabble 47:11 – Celebrity Name the Seed!52:38 – Gary’s Joke Corner 55:20 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans "Kiri Pritchard McLean" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Kiri Pritchard McLean. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0."

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