Financial Feminist

Why do we stay in jobs, relationships, and financial patterns we know aren't working? Author and journalist Simone Stolzoff is back on the show to talk about his new book, How to Not Know — and the surprising answer has everything to do with our relationship with uncertainty. We're getting into the three certainty traps keeping you stuck, why more information is actually making your anxiety worse, the difference between one-way and two-way door decisions, and what it really takes to break the cycle when you can see the problem but can't seem to move. This is one of the most powerful conversations we've had on this show, and one you'll want to send to everyone you know.

Simone’s links:

How to Not Know: https://bookshop.org/a/90037/9781324089452

Learn the exact strategies to save money, pay off debt, improve your money mindset, increase your net worth, in The $100K Club. Get the details here: ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠.

00:00 Intro 

01:08 Why Uncertainty Feels Worse Than Bad News

03:14 Three Certainty Traps: Comfort, Hubris & Control

04:49 Why We Struggle to Admit We Were Wrong

05:36 Identity, Doubling Down & Changing Your Mind

10:23 Why Our Tolerance for Uncertainty Is Declining

14:28 More Information, More Anxiety

16:18 Escalating Commitment

16:52 Stop Loss Strategies & Rules-Based Decision Making

20:13 Outsourcing Your Willpower & Knowing Your "Enough"

28:08 Connie & Andrew's "Year of Living Dangerously"

30:21 How to Run Your Own Low-Stakes Life Experiment

35:16 One-Way Door vs. Two-Way Door Decisions

44:39 Ghost Ships: Making Peace with the Paths Not Taken

50:39 The Miscarriage, the Uncertainty & Finding Your Anchors

54:54 How to Not Know
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You might be the loneliest you've ever been — and have no idea why. One of my favorite guests and favorite humans, Liz Moody, is back on the show to talk about why loneliness isn't an exposure problem. It's not about being around more people. It's a discomfort problem. We're getting into why our frictionless, optimized lives are quietly killing our ability to connect, what it actually takes to build real friendships from scratch, why vulnerability is the shortcut nobody wants to take, and the one shift you can make this week that will move you toward deeper connection — no new plans required.

Liz’s links:

Website: https://www.lizmoody.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizmoody/ 

Podcast: https://www.lizmoody.com/the-liz-moody-podcast/ 

Book: A Hundred Ways to Change Your Life: http://Bookshopbookshop.org/a/90037/9780063333710 

Not sure what to do with your money? Visit ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠ and take our FREE Money Plan Quiz to get your personalized money plan, and find any resources mentioned on our show!

00:00 Intro

00:13 Why We've Never Been More Connected — Yet More Alone

02:34 The "Creation Era" of Friendship & Why Discomfort Is the Price of Connection

03:23 The Cozy Era vs. The Creation Era of Friendship

06:17 Loneliness Is a Discomfort Problem, Not an Exposure Problem

11:37 Misdiagnosing Loneliness — What You're Actually Missing

13:05 The Harvard Study of Adult Development & the #1 Predictor of a Long Life

14:59 Face-Down Phone Theory & What Your Phone Is Costing Your Relationships

11:27 Match Theory: Stop Impressing, Start Finding Your People

17:32 The 50-Hour Rule: How Long It Really Takes to Make a Friend

21:17 From Transaction to Connection — Getting Past Tit for Tat

21:13 Human Beings vs. Human Doings: Productivity Culture & Friendship

38:21 Shared Experiences, Novelty & Building Deeper Bonds

38:16 "Abouts" — The Secret Ingredient to Lasting Friendships

50:24 Healthy Solitude vs. Loneliness (and Why Most of Us Never Actually Rest)

58:20 The One Shift to Make This Week If You Feel Lonely
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What if every bill you're already paying could get you closer to a free flight?

Today I'm talking to Shakeemah "Keem" Smith — founder of Bills to Boarding Passes, solo travel educator, and the woman her family literally nicknamed The Passport Abuser — to talk about how she's traveled to nearly 100 countries without paying out of pocket for a single flight in three years. And no, you don't need a high-limit credit card or a six-figure salary to do this.

Keem breaks down her Bills to Boarding Passes method, the airline partnerships most people have never heard of, why solo travel might be the most powerful thing you do for yourself this year, and the exact first steps to take this week, no matter your income, your debt situation, or your starting point. You’re gonna want to share this episode with a friend!

Ready to turn your everyday bills into free flights? Sign up for our FREE Bills to Boarding Passes workshop with Keem & Tori: ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠

Compare the cheapest flights from all major airlines at ⁠Skyscanner.com⁠

Visit https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod to find our credit card recommendations and any other resources mentioned on our show!

00:00 Intro

01:36 Your Bills Are Your Boarding Passes

04:07 Airline Miles vs. Credit Card Points: What's the Difference?

07:05 How Airlines Make Money When You're Not Flying 

09:32 Earning Miles on Your Utility Bills (NRG Partnership)

11:03 How Keem Got to Her First 20 Countries for Under $100 

13:55 How to Travel for Free Without a Credit Card 

16:22 What Started Solo Travel: A Friendship Betrayal in Amsterdam

19:10 Learning to Enjoy Your Own Company at 30

21:29 Traveling as a Black Woman — Safety, Research & Real Talk

28:24 Actionable Steps for the Woman Who Thinks She Can't Afford to Travel

31:44 Japan for $6 — Three Times (and Other Receipt-Worthy Receipts)

35:19 Treating Retailers Like You Treat Men: The 2-Out-of-3 Rule

38:44 Country That Surprised Me Most: Kuwait

39:31 The One Thing I Always Pack: A Carbon Monoxide Detector

41:27 Worst Travel Disaster: Saint Kitts Airport Scam

44:45 Best Flight Deal: $5 Flights as a Lifestyle

45:42 Most Underrated Solo Destination: Antigua and Barbuda

47:20 Final Message to the Woman Who Thinks Travel Isn't for Her
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Yes, my $100K story has been in the New York Times, Business Insider, and on ABC News — and yes, I did it in 2019. But every time it goes viral, my DMs say the same thing: "Cool for you, Tori, but that was a different economy." So let's actually talk about it. In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly what I would do differently if I were starting from zero in my early 20s today — what still works from my original system, what I'd change, and why hitting your first $100K in 2026 is harder, but absolutely not impossible. This isn't a motivation episode. This is a framework episode built for the economy we're actually living in, with real numbers, real talk about systemic barriers, and a step-by-step system you can plug into your own money starting today.

Want to build your first $100K, but not sure where to start? Visit ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠ to get my free guide.

Get my HYSA recommendation, my book, Financial Feminist, and more resources from this episode at ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠

How I Saved $100K at 25: ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/how-to-save-100k/⁠ 

00:00 Intro

00:18 How Tori Hit $100K (Origin Story)

00:55 What Actually Went Into It

02:43 What Tori Didn't Have

03:28 Why 2016–2019 Was Different Than Now

07:18 What's Genuinely Harder Today

09:10 The Latte Factor Era Is Dead

10:03 The System Still Works

11:57 If I Was Starting Today

12:11 Step 1: Stop Trying to Be Perfect

15:22 Step 2: Don't Write Off Someone's Story

17:35 Step 3: Redefine What Your $100K Means

19:43 Step 4: Automate Your Savings

22:19 Step 5: Focus on Growing Income

23:57 Negotiate Every Job Offer

26:01 Step 6: Start Investing Now

29:11 Step 7: Values-Based Spending

31:11 The Full Plan Recap & Free Resource

32:28 Closing: You're Not Behind
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What if you never had to choose between building wealth and honoring where you came from? Bricia Lopez didn't –– and she built something incredible because of it. She grew up translating for her immigrant parents, learned money by watching her family create and lose and rebuild, and went on to become a restaurateur, cookbook author, and the woman behind one of LA's most iconic Oaxacan restaurants, Guelaguetza. Today she's sharing everything, the mindset, the hard lessons, the margarita vs. martini moment that changed how she thinks about her own worth. Come for the food, stay for the money talk.

Bricia’s links:

Website: https://www.ilovemicheladas.com/

Join the savings sprint to get your finances on track and take control of your money: https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod. 

00:00 Intro 

00:20 The First Money Lesson: You Can Just Make It

02:57 Being the Family Translator & Business Partner at 12

05:25 Redefining Success at Every Decade

09:08 Cutting Personal Comfort, Not Quality, During Hard Times

16:58 Why Bricia Talks Money Openly With Her Friends

17:22 The Margarita vs. Martini — Running Your Own Race

25:52 Why Customers Hesitate to Pay for Quality Mexican Food

26:37 The Importance of Knowing Your Worth

38:47 How Wealth Is More Than a Number

29:00 Building Something Meaningful Without Abandoning Your Roots

31:09 When Women Are Financially Free, the World Changes

32:38 Rapid Fire: Best Dish to Order, Desert Island Ingredients & More

38:58 Where to Find Bricia & What's Coming Next

To stay up to date and find any other resources mentioned on our show visit: ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod
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