The Biology of Trauma® With Dr. Aimie

• Why Saying No Feels Like Danger: The Nervous System Truth

  What if the reason we can't say no isn't a willpower problem—but a nervous system problem? In Part 2 of this raw, unscripted conversation, Dr. Aimie Apigian and her friend Jalon Johnson go deeper into what actually happens inside our body when we try to set a boundary. This isn't theory—it's two people sharing what it felt like to rehearse conversations for days, to brace for rejection, and to genuinely believe the world might end if they said no to family. From the realization that we've been having hour-long arguments with people entirely in our heads, to the moment the sun still came up after saying "I'm not coming," this episode gets honest about why boundaries feel like pulling the pin on a grenade—and what changes when we finally let it go. In this episode you'll hear more about: The conversations we have that never actually happen: Dr. Aimie's revelation that she would spend hours—sometimes days—rehearsing both sides of a conversation with someone, anticipating their response, forming rebuttals, all before saying a single word out loud. The exhausting mental gymnastics of trying to manage someone else's reaction before it even exists. Why "no" feels like a threat to survival: Jalon's insight that if you've never been comfortable saying no, your nervous system treats it like danger. The activation, the bracing, the preparing for impact—it's not dramatic, it's protective. And it makes sense when we understand what we learned in childhood. "No with a period is a complete sentence": The reframe Jalon's first therapist gave him that he's carried ever since—and why most of us still struggle to say no without attaching explanations, justifications, and apologies to soften the blow we're sure is coming. The world didn't end—and that changed everything: Dr. Aimie's experience of finally setting the boundary, bracing for disaster, and then... nothing. The sun came up. The family moved on. And she was able to show up as the person she actually wanted to be instead of the drained, resentful version running on empty. Self-care feels frightening when you've never done it: Why taking care of ourselves can feel more threatening than burning out, and how building tolerance to rest—just like building tolerance to anything new—takes practice, not perfection. Asking "why" until you get the real answer: The technique both Dr. Aimie and Jalon use to get beneath the surface reason—asking why five, six, seven times until the truth finally shows up. Dr. Aimie's application of this to her emotional eating patterns and what she discovered underneath the hunger. Setting a boundary isn't about having the perfect words or the right explanation. It's about recognizing that the discomfort we feel isn't proof we're doing something wrong—it's proof we're doing something new. Our nervous system learned that saying no was dangerous. It will take time to teach it otherwise. And in the meantime, we can hold both: the part that's terrified and the part that knows we need this. 🎧 This is Part 2 of Dr. Aimie's conversation with Jalon Johnson. If you missed Part 1, it's linked below—we talked about the exhausting reality of showing up to family gatherings after we've changed and they haven't. Part 3 goes deeper into the hustle: why we push ourselves to prove our worth and what happens when our body finally says "enough." 🎙️ Check out this week's main episode, Why Trauma Returns in Midlife: A Chinese Medicine Lens with Dr. Lorne Brown 💭 Where in our life are we still rehearsing conversations that haven't happened yet? What would it feel like to just say no—and let them have their reaction? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube—it takes two minutes and means more than you know. Thank you for being here.

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• Why Trauma Returns in Midlife: A Chinese Medicine Lens

  Chinese medicine may help explain why stored trauma causes old patterns to resurface when we least expect it. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Lorne Brown, a leader in integrative reproductive health and Chinese medicine who brings 25 years of clinical experience to the conversation.  Get the full episode breakdown at Biology of Trauma® Podcast- Episode 151: Why Healed Trauma Returns in Perimenopause: Chinese Medicine Lens In this episode you'll learn: [00:02:00] The Body's Layered Storage System: How Chinese medicine understands stored trauma as a three-layer defense mechanism designed to protect our vital organs [00:05:30] Why Around Age 40, Everything Changes: The body stops using resources to suppress stored energy and begins asking us to finally process it [00:08:00] Perimenopause as a Tipping Point: Why hormone fluctuations shrink our window of tolerance and reveal what we've been holding [00:11:32] The Second Spring: Chinese medicine's perspective on menopause as a spiritual awakening where resources redirect to the heart center [00:13:24] Qi Stagnation & Functional Freeze: The connection between stuck energy and chronic patterns of protection in the nervous system [00:17:00] The Radio Metaphor: How emotions are meant to move through us like a song, and what happens when we hit repeat [00:21:14] When Healed Trauma Returns: Why perimenopause can bring back symptoms and emotions we thought we'd resolved [00:28:40] Safety as the Foundation: Why Chinese medicine agrees that creating safety is the essential first step for allowing stagnation to move [00:34:44] Sound, Laser & Frequency Medicine: Tools that bypass the mind and work directly with the cells and nervous system [00:43:07] Notice, Accept, Choose Again: Dr. Brown's NAC process for metabolizing uncomfortable feelings and restoring flow

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• Frozen in Success: The Biology of Staying Stuck in Survival with Dr. Aimie Apigian

  Many high-achieving people look successful on the outside while part of them remains frozen in childhood survival patterns. Through the Biology of Trauma® lens, I share how trauma disrupts the natural flow and movement of life—and the healing roadmap that takes us from stuck to truly alive. If we've ever wondered why we can reach every external goal and still feel disconnected from our own life, this episode explains why. I share Elena's story, a 45-year-old Chief Operating Officer whose autoimmune diagnosis revealed what her body had been holding for decades. When her thirteen-year-old daughter had thoughts of suicide—and felt she couldn't talk to her mom—Elena finally understood: a part of her had been frozen since before she could walk. We'll explore how nervous system dysregulation shows up as professional success masking emotional unavailability. We'll see how trauma stops our natural movement through life—and discover the six-step roadmap from survival to authenticity, belonging, and flow. In this episode you'll learn: [00:00] Why successful people can still be frozen in survival patterns from childhood [02:15] How Elena's birth trauma created a freeze response before she could walk [06:40] The moment her daughter's crisis revealed decades of emotional unavailability [09:10] Trauma defined: the biggest disruptor of movement in our life [12:45] Why everything inside us is movement—and what happens when trauma stops it [16:05] The healing destination: authenticity, belonging, and flow as what it means to be alive [19:50] Why state shifts matter more than neuroplasticity on your healing journey [24:05] How neuroplasticity wires in whatever state you're in—including overwhelm [26:30] The six-step roadmap: from "I am alive" to connection with others [28:15] How Elena broke the generational cycle with her daughters Main Takeaways: Trauma Is the Biggest Disruptor of Movement: Trauma isn't just an event—it's the shock that stops us. It disrupts movement at every level: physical, emotional, relational, and through our life stages. Successful and Frozen Can Coexist: High achievement doesn't mean our nervous system is regulated. Elena built an impressive career while part of her remained that terrified little girl, hiding and staying still to survive. State Shifts Come Before Neuroplasticity: Whatever state we're in is what neuroplasticity wires in. If we're frequently in stress and overwhelm, our brain builds pathways that make that pattern automatic. We must shift our state first. The Destination Is Authenticity, Belonging, and Flow: These three elements define what it means to be truly alive—free to be ourselves, grounded in connection, and moving with ease through life. You Can't Skip the Sequence: The roadmap follows a specific order: recognizing we're alive, choosing to live, shifting our state, being here, wanting to be here, deserving to be here, and finally connecting with others. Each step prepares us for the next. Healing Breaks Generational Patterns: When Elena addressed her frozen patterns, her daughters noticed changes they never expected. The "resting bitch face" disappeared. Presence replaced absence. Notable Quotes: "Trauma becomes the biggest disruptor of movement in our life." "I can still see myself as a little girl, hiding with my dolls, quiet, still and absolutely terrified." "Whatever state we are in is what neuroplasticity wires in." "Being in calm alive can actually become a habit. Imagine that." "Your body's decision to freeze wasn't a failure—it was survival. But you don't have to stay frozen." "My 12-year-old girl didn't realize that I had grown up and that I am alive—which means that she did it. She made it. We're alive." Episode Takeaway: Frozen doesn't mean broken. Elena's story reveals what happens when trauma stops our natural movement through life—not just physical movement, but emotional presence, relational connection, and our ability to truly arrive in the life we've built. Her freeze response began at birth, reinforced through childhood, and showed up decades later as professional success masking emotional unavailability. Her daughters felt it. Her body felt it. Her autoimmune diagnosis confirmed it. The healing roadmap offers a way forward. First, we help that frozen part recognize we're alive—that survival happened. Then we consciously choose to live, rather than simply existing because we had no choice. We learn to shift our state into calm and aliveness, practicing until it becomes our new default. And finally, we move through the deeper work: being here, wanting to be here, deserving to be here, and opening to genuine connection with others. Neuroplasticity works for or against us depending on our state. If overwhelm has become our habit, our brain has built pathways that take us there automatically. But when we build the habit of calm aliveness first, neuroplasticity starts working in our favor. The destination isn't perfection—it's authenticity, belonging, and flow. Movement is possible. Coming home to ourselves is possible. Resources/Guides: The Biology of Trauma book - Available now everywhere books are sold. Get your copy Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma® professional. Related Episodes: Episode 9: What is One Thing the Freeze Response Needs for Healing? (Part 2) with Dr. Arielle Schwartz Episode 87: Stress & Freeze Response: How to Achieve & Sustain High Performance with Olympian Louise Tjernqvist Episode 142: Why Stress Isn't Trauma: How to Spot Overwhelm and Start Healing Your Nervous System with Dr. Aimie Apigian   Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology. Disclaimer: By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical, psychological, or mental health advice to treat any medical or psychological condition in yourself or others. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your own physician, therapist, psychiatrist, or other qualified health provider regarding any physical or mental health issues you may be experiencing.

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• Family Boundaries and Dysfunction: How to Stay True to Yourself Around Family with Jalon Johnson

  What if the hardest part of our healing journey isn't the inner work—but showing up to family gatherings after we've changed and our family hasn't? In this raw, unscripted conversation, Dr. Aimie Apigian sits down with her friend Jalon Johnson to talk about something most healing resources won't touch: the exhausting reality of being around family when we're no longer willing to play the role they expect. This isn't a polished teaching episode—it's two people figuring out in real time how to navigate people-pleasing, unspoken guilt, and the mental gymnastics of anticipating everyone's reactions while trying to stay true to who we've become. From recognizing the coping mechanisms we didn't know were coping mechanisms, to the practical strategy of getting our own hotel room, this episode gets honest about what it really takes to walk the "healthy lonely road" when our family is still stuck in old patterns. In this episode you'll hear more about: The tradition trap and choosing ourselves: Why challenging family traditions makes us the "bad guy" even when those traditions are unhealthy, and how stepping outside the role we're "supposed to play" makes us a threat to people who haven't chosen us—they've just chosen the role The coping mechanisms we didn't recognize: Dr. Aimie's realization that she would start craving numbing foods a full week before family events, recognizing now that overeating specific foods was her way of avoiding the uncomfortable feelings of misalignment and unspoken expectations Titrating our presence—the hotel room strategy: Dr. Aimie's practical approach to family—not disappearing completely, but also not showing up in ways that leave us angry, resentful, and needing weeks to recover. Finding "what is enough" by getting her own hotel to reset her energy and maintain who she is without sabotaging the healing she's done "I'm not going, and I don't owe an explanation": Jalon's boundary of simply not attending when his body tells him rest is needed, recognizing it only has to make sense to him—and the powerful reframe: "I don't want the next gathering of the family to be everybody at my funeral" Boundaries expose, they don't create: Understanding that healthy boundaries will expose the conflict that was already underlying—the dysfunction was always there, we're just no longer pretending it isn't Our healing will change our relationships. That's not a warning, it's a guarantee. The question isn't whether our family will be uncomfortable with the new us—they will be. The question is: what boundaries will we set so we can stay true to ourselves without completely disconnecting from the people we love? This episode doesn't give us easy answers because there aren't any. But it gives us permission to get our own hotel room, to say "I'm not coming," and to recognize that choosing ourselves isn't selfish when the alternative is betraying everything we've worked so hard to heal. 🎧 This is Part 1 of Dr. Aimie's conversation with Jalon Johnson. Part 2 will tackle why saying no feels like pulling the pin out of a grenade and what might actually happen when we set that boundary. Subscribe so you don't miss it. 🎙️ Check out this week's main episode, Episode 149: Mind-Body Trauma Research: The Truth with Dr. Gabor Maté 💭 What's the boundary we've been afraid to set because we're worried about what others will say? Sit with that question this week. And if you need the reminder: it only has to make sense to us. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube—it takes two minutes and means more than you know. Thank you for being here.

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• Mind-Body Trauma Research: The Truth with Dr. Gabor Maté

  Why does groundbreaking research on mind-body medicine disappear without a trace? How do emotional factors create conditions for chronic illness and autoimmune disease decades later? What happens when a Harvard study shows severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk—and the medical system simply ignores it? Dr. Gabor Maté joins me to discuss the writing process behind The Myth of Normal, his 19-week New York Times bestseller bringing together decades of research on trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and how emotional factors drive physical disease. We explore why mind-body unity—understood since Socrates 2,600 years ago—remains controversial in mainstream medicine despite overwhelming scientific evidence. Gabor addresses the most damaging misconception about his work: that he blames parents and patients. Whether we're trauma-informed practitioners, healing from chronic illness, or parents navigating guilt and shame, we'll understand why this conversation about mind-body medicine is finally reaching people—even when the medical system isn't ready.   In this episode you'll learn: [01:59] The Myth of Normal Journey: How 10 years of research and 20,000 articles became a 500-page synthesis of trauma biology [04:00] Writing for Critics Made Me Sick: Why trying to convince skeptics creates the very trauma biology we're studying [06:00] Harvard's 1939 Buried Truth: Soma Weiss's lecture on emotional factors equaling physical factors—and why it's still ignored [07:42] PTSD Doubles Ovarian Cancer Risk: Harvard study the average gynecologist never read—and what it means for trauma healing [09:40] People Are Ready, Systems Aren't: Why this trauma revolution is happening at the grassroots level first [13:53] New York Times Bestseller Doesn't Equal Happiness: The personal lesson about achievement and inner state [16:00] The Biggest Misconception: Addressing the damaging claim that Gabor blames parents and patients for illness [18:00] ADHD, Genes, and Environment: Why genetic sensitivity plus stressed parents creates attention dysregulation—without blame   Main Takeaways: Mind-Body Unity Isn't New Science: Socrates recognized 2,600 years ago that separating mind from body was medicine's fundamental error, and Harvard professor Soma Weiss lectured in 1939 that emotional factors equal physical factors in disease causation and healing. This isn't cutting-edge discovery—it's forgotten wisdom the medical system repeatedly buries. Scientific Evidence Disappears in the Bermuda Triangle: Hundreds of peer-reviewed studies demonstrate trauma's biological impact on chronic illness, autoimmune disease, and cancer risk, yet research doesn't change medicine when ideology creates blind spots. A Harvard study showed severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk, but the average gynecologist never reads it. Empowerment, Not Blame, Changes Lives: Understanding that stress affects multiple sclerosis relapse risk or that the environment acts on ADHD genes doesn't blame patients or parents—it empowers them. Knowledge of how trauma creates conditions for illness provides agency to address root causes rather than remaining passive recipients of symptomatic care. Mitochondrial Dysfunction Extends the Mind-Body Framework: While The Myth of Normal covers mind-body unity comprehensively, Biology of Trauma® goes deeper to subcellular levels—showing how trauma affects mitochondria, cellular energy production, and the biology underneath symptoms.   Notable Quotes: "Socrates said 2,600 years ago in ancient Greece that the problem with the doctors today is they separate the mind from the body." "Emotional factors are at least as important in the causation of disease as physiological factors, and must be at least as important in the healing." (From the 1939 Harvard lecture) "You can have the same genes and have ADHD or not have ADHD. What makes the difference is how the environment acts on those genes." "Trauma is so ubiquitous in this culture and it's so poorly understood and addressed in the healing profession." "The change will happen at the level of people, not at the system. The people will demand the system change."   Episode Takeaway: What struck me most in this conversation with Gabor is how the desperate need to convince skeptical colleagues stems from our earliest attachment patterns where authority figures' opinions determined our safety. This is why writing to prove ourselves to critics creates the very nervous system dysregulation our trauma work addresses. Mind-body unity isn't revolutionary new science—it's 2,600 years of wisdom that mainstream medicine repeatedly buries. When Harvard published research in 1939 showing emotional factors equal physical factors in disease, and recent studies demonstrate severe PTSD doubles ovarian cancer risk, the medical system's silence isn't about lack of evidence but about ideological blind spots. The revolution happening now shows people are ready for this conversation even when systems aren't. As chronic illness increases, people seek understanding of how stored trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and emotional factors create conditions for autoimmune disease, cancer, and ADHD decades later. This isn't about blaming parents or patients—it's about empowering us with agency to address root causes. External achievement doesn't heal unresolved trauma, but the gratitude when we stop trying to convince critics and instead empower people with truth makes it worthwhile. We're catching a wave we're also generating. The system will change when people demand it.   Resources/Guides: Visit biologyoftrauma.com for more resources on the Biology of Trauma® framework The Biology of Trauma book - Available now everywhere books are sold. Get your copy Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma® professional.  Check out Dr. Gabor Maté's book, The Myth of Normal.  Related Episodes: Episode 39: How Does Trauma Manifest in the Body with Gabor Maté Episode 66: Gabor Maté: The Biology Piece We Have Missed In Trauma & Depression (Part 1) Episode 67: Gabor Maté: Healing Trauma and Chronic Illness Through Connection (Part 2)   Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology. Disclaimer: By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical, psychological, or mental health advice to treat any medical or psychological condition in yourself or others. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your own physician, therapist, psychiatrist, or other qualified health provider regarding any physical or mental health issues you may be experiencing.  

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